My enormous gratitude to the Almighty, Allah S.W.T, for blessing with a life like no other. Its a great for us rise from our state of vegetation and into emerge into the sun like newborns hatching out of their eggs, as the rays of the sun imbues warmth to our slimy substance of life.
If the Day was a person, I'd ask him as I rise up from the comforts of remaining vegetative:
"Day, watcha got? How many gifts will I receive? How many surprises will catch up to me? How will it go? Because I'm gonna take you on."
He'd probably reply:
"It is important for you to be aware everyday - not just the Mondays and the other routine days. Pay attention to the sun, the clouds, the trees and the people you see everyday. It's you. You create your own adventure. I'm just here to provide you the setting. The pieces are all there. You create your own adventure day after day. You make it happen."
Here we go.
p/s: I've included a cool acoustic rendition of "Make it Mine" in the playlist - which is the soundtrack for the rest of the day and beyond.
I'm pretty much glad that the literature subjects we have this semester are a great change from the previous ones we had. Not just we discussed about the regular literary elements (y'know, the usual character, theme, setting routine. blehhh), we also discussed what makes the genre.
In Asian Literature, the primary focus is not to study asian written literature but to study what makes them Asian. Discussions get more intellectual as we drop the secondary school routine of analyzing text; into studying and scrutinizing cultural backgrounds. One of them is the Asian Norm.
One part of the discussion has taken me in great interest: the asian beauty. If we look at our own society, the most prominent aspect of one's beauty (women, specifically) is the fairness of one's skin. It depends on how "white" you are. Don't believe me? Try asking someone. Try asking a makcik.
"Wah, cantik anak si anu tu. Kulitnya puuutiiih melepak.....blablablabla and so on".
See? Most of the time it goes like that. Fair skin seems like number one the TOP 5 what-u-shd-hv-to-be-called-pretty criteria. Why? I'm not sure but it can be attributed to mass media (again). Commercials, especially. Take that Fair and Lovely commercial per se. A girl with a slightly dark skin was sitting behind a ticket counter and this "gorgeous" dude didn't notice her. Until.....she used the cream and became fair. The shallow son of a basket. This a total counter-situation to our western counterparts. Westerners perceives the tanned to be hotter than the usual pale ones, which explains why they love sunbathing naked. And the tanning booth. And the tanning coat spray thing.
Yes, you might say "Beauty is just skin deep". It seems that one's looks can function as an initiating mechanism for infatuation. Most "interactions" starts with infatuation whether you like or not which worries me because of my puny interest in cosmetics and fashion. Too bad, I could only care less. The important part is just to stay clean and smell fresh.
Back to topic, what we think and how we behave seems to be influenced by subliminal messages embedded into the things we see in television, magazines, and the people around us. In such arguments on an abstract entity that is beauty, it would be favourable to take the easy way out by saying "beautiful depends on who is looking at who".
Whats my idea of beauty? What do I think for fair skins?
Yeah, fair skin is nice but I prefer the ones who are slightly dark. Its a personal taste, yes.
Me and eric went for some shopping lately. Much thanks to Tajul for his suggestion in the previous post, unfortunately, I didn't manage to get my hands on the 350. So, I settled for some other models. The worst part of shopping for me is that I always get stuck between between two choices. Whats the word for it?.....
Ah....
Dilemma.
I hate it. Thank god Eric was there to prevent any further nervous breakdown. My indecisiveness has caused us to spend an extended time around the plaza, walking back and forth - up and down trying to make up my mind. Take this: both were at the same price and they were both great headphones. One was Plantronics 610 and the other one is a Steelseries 4H. You can't imagine how hard it was for me. Its just like what I was taught in economics. Choices made because of limited resources. I have limited money and I could only afford one. I almost screamed.
After so much deliberation, I went with the Steelseries 4H. Why? Like the packaging says: 40 mm audio drivers, 28,000 hz response frequence (means greater sound range so you wont get cracking audio), and a retractable mic (not foldable, imagine "pull out push in"). Most important factor is that it is a pair of fucking STEELSERIES! Yes, I know that sounded shallow and snobbish but I am kinda sucked by this brand thingy. I feel like a teenage girl who is looking at a pair of shoes she really really likes.
Here's a few photos. they not really a looker but they do the job well:
My only concern about the thing is that it looks rather fragile
I'm going take care of this new very much. If any of the other guys decided that they want to watch some movie or listen to their music, the moment they look in my direction, I'll say:
"OVER MY DEAD BODY"
In an unrelated event, in the evening on the same day I went out for some exercise for the first time after one and a half semester. Me and the guys went for basketball in the Intec court. I was really totally winded. I should exercise more. Later, we ran into Juliana and her friend in distress, Izzati. They lost the keys to the security lock of their scooter. I went back home to get some pliers and let the guys take care the rest.
That night, we were treated to some fried chicken which we saved for midnight snacking (because they were grateful of course).
Today, I took my sister (she's continuing her study in Uitm Sek. 2 starting this semester) along with me out to town for a little tutorial on how to get around using the local means of transportation. I decided to hit the Youth 09 convention, because I haven't actually attended any conventions other than a PC Fair and that K-Based society convention which I never understood until this day.
It didn't turn out as I expected. Many attended but not as many as I thought there would be. Maybe we just came at the wrong time. There was a battle of bands when we arrived at the event. There was a display of pimped out rides and other stuff.
Then, there is the "people who like to play dress up" section. Hey, who am I to judge, right? It was quite entertaining to watch them go at it. They were so passionate about the whole character impersonation stuff that one of them DIDN'T BREAK CHARACTER offstage and even after the event is over.
Dats kinda freaky
My sister said this guy had won three or more times in other similar events, both in Malaysia and Singapore. He's the guy who never broke out of character.
Sailormoon yg trip hot. Konon. Hehe.
There were also other stuff in Youth 09. There were Hot Fm doing a live broadcast of the event. There were snakes. Guitar Hero III was a popular. Most booths (regardless of purpose) threw in some Guitar Hero to attract the crowd.
cockfighting the ball to the death
There were also grafitting wooden boards
....oh, yeah there were snakes too.
...and scorpions.
Honestly, I wished there was more. I'm going to miss the third day of the event because that's when the have the game talk and competition. It just feels unfulfilled. It didn't live up to its "10,491 attendees" signpost.
The human paradox. They are truly unique. Truly precious. And sometimes very special and rare. They are the ones who possess both opposing qualities. Having both sides of the coin does not mean they are in the middle of everything. It just means they have both. These paradoxes can be described like the following:
You are Humble yet very bold and proud Delicate yet strong and resilient Innocent yet experienced Green but wise Reckless but prudent and calculating You can take a man down, and bring him up again.
Should you have met, known or even befriended a paradox: consider yourself blessed. They have the best of both worlds.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
BREATHE, HUZEN! BREATHE!
BREATHE GODDAMMIT!
"Don't let him go into shock!" - Horatio Cain, CSI: Miami
To those who are reading this it is my pleasure to say that I need your help.
I am currently looking for a pair of headphones, preferably with mic, and I may need some suggestion from you readers. For your information, I will be using them not just for my gaming activities but also for watching movies and music listening.
So far I have two option: a Plantronic 350 and a Zalman ZM-DS4F (the 350 can be seen in the side-bar, and the Zalman on the bottom of this post).
Your suggestion(s) are most welcomed. And I would most appreciate it if you could state the price of the item.
Like every other year, it is quite customary for one to come up with a resolution for every new years. So, I'm gonna start off with recapping several life lessons I've learned in 2008.
Here they are:
1. Some things won't work no matter how hard you try. Just let nature take its course and have faith.
2. Love should preferably be without the "truly, madly, deeply". Just "love". "Truly madly deeply" should be reserved for The Almighty.
3. Life is like a very long road. There is no destination nor finish lines. If there is, its when you die. We believe that one's value in the world is equivalent to how much one can achieve on a certain period of time. To enjoy life, you should take it slow. Stop running when your shoe start to chafe your foot, when it bleeds and when shoes are torn. Just keep walking. Its like sex. Would you consider 30 seconds of sex as great sex? Yes. NO. We would appreciate it if it was 30 minutes. Sure, we want to last till morning. (Sorry. I'll stop that. I should stop listening to Darren Hayes. Damn him). What I'm trying to say is: don't rush life. just keep going at a steady pace.
4. Invest in real estate. It will be highly profitable, in the future.
5. There are times when you should not listen to other people. They are different, so are you. Do what you think is right.
6. Social pressure is one of the greatest forces known to man.
7. We got it all wrong: a .50 calibre round fired at high velocity to the head DO NOT result in a clean bullet hole. It literally blows your whole head off. A .45 round should be similarly effective, if not as powerful.
8. Turns out that fastfood can really fuck you up.
9. Life is about everything. Go out and explore those things.
10. Literature can be great sometimes. I'm so shallow that a midsummer night reading marathon could possible result with me jamming forks into my eyes.
This year, I wanted to:
Face it. I am not making any new resolutions this year. In fact, I'm going to scrap resolutions I made from previous years. Sometimes, these resolutions are just making you feel good about yourself on the things you never really going to do.
So, this year I wanted to LIVE LIFE.
Explore new stuff. Enjoy the simple pleasures. Take my time. Take it slow. Talk to people. Meet people. Help people. AND STOP BEING A PUSSY.
...if thats too complicated, I'll just stick to the "Im-going-to-work-hard-and-save-money" kind of resolution.
To those who are reading this,
lets keep reminding each other to take it easy once it a while.
"Sure, its good pudding. You can put your dick in it, then putting it back on the table. You'll have good time explaining it to other people but nobody will eat it BECAUSE YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN IT!!! *slaps the back of your sorry head*"
The universe is very complicated piece of shit to explain.
So, i'm going to explain it in a non-scientific way, if I may.
Here goes:
Time is change. Every entity in the universe changes. As a consequence of changes of all entities, time was born. As long as the universe keeps changing, time will continue to exist. Change how? You move your finger one hundredth of an inch, that's a change and time moves along with you. Theoretically, if all entities within this vast universe stopped moving - down to every last atom, electron, particle, muon, pion and gluon - time would stop as well. To record such moments would be totally impossible. This theory could probably explain the fact that time will always go forward, not backwards.
In an other semi-unrelated topic, the existence of time has its consequences. Or say, its "byproducts". So far, I've managed to identify two: Progress and Procrastination (there's actually a better word than "procrastination" but i can't seem to remember what. We'll just go with it at the moment).
Progress is when entities change accordingly, at the prescribed rate (let's say the rate which God decides the universe to enforce). Progress may occur in a cycle.
Procrastination can be described as delays: two types - the positive delay and negative delay.
Positive delay is when the rate of change occurs is reduced, slightly or more than slightly, than the originally intended rate because it is necessary. It may be necessary in order to prevent something or have something changed in the desired rate, let's say to synchronize with other entities. For example, the use of kryton switches in nuclear bombs as time fuses so the nuclear atom collides at a specific rate so it would achieved critical mass and then blow shit into the stone age.
Negative delay, of course, is to reduce the rate of change or stop them all together for no specific purpose nor intentions. This means inhibiting change of entities just for the sake of inhibiting. It could be perceived as an attempt to slow down time, which is not possible because slowing one or few entities is highly impossible and unimaginable. The true nature of this negative delay is still far from me being able to grasp - i may need time (ironically) to figure this out or maybe i won't be able to figure it out at all. It won't do it any justice to dismiss the delay as a result of bad intentions just because of the word "negative" alone. Negative here could be referred as an inverse of the latter (y'know, positive reinforcement + negative reinforcement from edu. psychology).
Lately, time has occupied my thoughts. It occurs to me how some moments were disappointingly fast and how some were painstakingly slow. I would like to write more on the stuff: the meta, the analogies and stuff. If so, then I'd be writing a term paper - which I'll need to attend evening classes in Physics, Astronomy and Chemistry to substantiate my arguments. There is a seeding interest in astronomy lately. Must be from those hours watching Discovery Science.
"Let's forget we're running out of time" - Clockwatching, Mraz.
If I had a piece of land and a large sum of money,
I would build a training ground.
Training terrorists. I foresee a huge demand for martyrs.
Business will be good.
Oh, the results are in? I checked. Its neither up nor down. Its there where I like it. I dont care. Its a pass. Thats all that matters now. What? I cant hear you. You're breaking...up...im.....you....bzhsshzzzzz.ssss..sssss...........
The rich people demands that they should be placed in nearby hotel. Yeah, thats ok. What's not ok is that they also hope the government to pay for the expenses.
What the HELL?
Why do you use your own filthy money? Or ask your insurance company if you have any? Or just stay with the other victims at the nearest relief stations.
Its one of those time when I am free and have nothing to do. Aside from usually remaining in a vegetative state like I always do, I think about the endless questions in, mine and yours, life.
What do you want to be in the future?
....I want to be everything.
A musician, a teacher, a scientist, a soldier, a writer, a hero, a pilot and others.....
Until I came, crashing down hard, to an epiphany (highbrow word for realization).
I can only pick - if not few - one.
The one you pick will define you. The future of your futures. Most people say it depends on your calling. What if one has not received the calling? It would mean that we would have to re-assess the previous events in my life.
I used to want to be a scientist. However, science and maths is like oil and water to me. The last time I managed to solve an inverse quadratic equation was a rare moment of glory - celebrated in a small party which I was the only guest and only host. The last time I worked on a equation for a chemical reaction of two or more compounds during some chemical process I can't remember feels like a bicycle pump lodged in my head of which had me eating my own shoes in the end. The last time I did both simultaneously feels like hurling myself from a plane and then landing anus first on top of KL Tower.
Then, I felt like being a soldier. A military man. A man of honour. But then again, it seems like the royal army looks like a bunch of morally questionable thugs.
So you say it boils down to whatever talent you have. My talents? Well, I'm pretty good at hurting my self-esteem and my waistline. Im also good at being cynical and telling people off. Can't see how's that much of use in choosing a profession. But, life's choices such this isn't always about professions and raking in the big money. Its what you make of yourself. What kind of person you wish to be?
First, I made a dumb mistake. We were supposed to have a small reunion today but I had mistaken the time for 10 a.m. It was actually at 10 p.m. So, it was embarassing really. However, Sahara was kind enough to invite me to lunch (a free lunch!) that afternoon with her siblings and cousins. And I did bought her a drink, desperately trying to compensate for my idiocy.
I had so much to apologize for. I apologize for not reading messages carefully. I apologize for the awkward lunch because I had so little to say. I havent contacted any friends from the old days for quite some time. I apologize for the inability to be friendlier with your siblings and cousins.
Next time, I'd really have to pay attention to txt messages.
On a lighter note, the package I ordered came few days ago. I have my own copy of Left 4 Dead. Two free mousepads, and I didnt even pre-ordered.
It came as a surprise. I was worried when my parcel came in thin. I thought only the mousepads had made through the rough cargo trip. In fact, it was a gimmick. The game contents were packed in an envelope like one of those huge Laserdiscs (y'know. the CDs with the size of dinner plates...) It is poster-sized huge with the title embossed in shiny laminate.
Now, lets go to the pressing matters. My financial forecasts: I am going to be broke in January due to my indiscriminate spending. A copy of Left 4 Dead, plane tickets, new guitar strings, a capo (what do I need that for?) and other stuff. There's the bills, rent and other expenditures I have to take care of at the beginning of January. Not to mention being one week late for class.
Damn. Always read thoroughly. Especially the fine prints.
