Its one of those time when I am free and have nothing to do. Aside from usually remaining in a vegetative state like I always do, I think about the endless questions in, mine and yours, life.
What do you want to be in the future?
....I want to be everything.
A musician, a teacher, a scientist, a soldier, a writer, a hero, a pilot and others.....
Until I came, crashing down hard, to an epiphany (highbrow word for realization).
I can only pick - if not few - one.
The one you pick will define you. The future of your futures. Most people say it depends on your calling. What if one has not received the calling? It would mean that we would have to re-assess the previous events in my life.
I used to want to be a scientist. However, science and maths is like oil and water to me. The last time I managed to solve an inverse quadratic equation was a rare moment of glory - celebrated in a small party which I was the only guest and only host. The last time I worked on a equation for a chemical reaction of two or more compounds during some chemical process I can't remember feels like a bicycle pump lodged in my head of which had me eating my own shoes in the end. The last time I did both simultaneously feels like hurling myself from a plane and then landing anus first on top of KL Tower.
Then, I felt like being a soldier. A military man. A man of honour. But then again, it seems like the royal army looks like a bunch of morally questionable thugs.
So you say it boils down to whatever talent you have. My talents? Well, I'm pretty good at hurting my self-esteem and my waistline. Im also good at being cynical and telling people off. Can't see how's that much of use in choosing a profession. But, life's choices such this isn't always about professions and raking in the big money. Its what you make of yourself. What kind of person you wish to be?
Where do you go from here?
That's the million dollar question.