Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Come check our calendars

All three microteachings suffered badly from my complacency and lack of concern for developing teaching aids. Failing subjects is not a distinct possibility. The only thing I did right this semester was the movie review for Asian Literature. Its "Water" by Deepa Mehta. Its an awesome Indian movie. Its really deep. I recommend you to watch it. And then I was also desperate to prove to my Class Management instructor that I am doing my work. Thanks to Tatie and Pie for giving me something to talk about, even though it was just verbatim and a little bit of paraphrasing on my part. I am, like everyone else, concerned about my grades too.

And, since everyone is bitching about being super busy, I have dedicated some time to develop some visual aids to help explain the situation that my fellow coursemates and I are going through:

To illustrate the situation, I've selected two essential activities for the discerning undergrad student. They're very important, for sure. You can't deny and I can't stress more on how important these two are. THEY ARE EFFING IMPORTANT! Plus, I've placed them inside coloured rectangles for presentation purposes.

This how the schedule would look like for the normal busy student. This is how it usually looks. Notice how they are tightly packed. Sticking. No hairlines. Totally compact.

Now, this is how our timetable looks like. Notice how the pressure of time and lack of initiative have compacted both activities that they start to forcefully overlap to accomodate the time constraint enforced upon us. Its like the skin of a chronic couch potato has naturally melded into the couch itself. The TR stand for toilet reading which means we have to study for tests even during "business" hours. However, I don't see how Toilet Reading is going to make any difference to me. I do it all the time!

In fact, the time allocated for posting this post overlaps with the time allocated to eat the chips I've bought a week ago, the time for me complete my 6-8 page Second Language research (due tomorrow) and the time for me pick my nose clean.

This requires shit serious time management skills, essential to any student who has great concern over efficiency, and unfortunately, I'm not one of those students. I have a fairly impressive "bitching" skill, if that helps.

Even now, I can still hear them bitch about it.

That's rite! keep singing it, people!!! Oh, yea. Uh-huh, uh-huh!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Acting on impulse and spontaneity

Have you ever imagined if it was possible being stupid beyond stupid itself? Have you ever wondered why did you let your guts and impulses let you take over? How you ever wondered whatever happened to that mantra you're always held with you, "Slow and Smooth, Smooth is Fast"?

Have you felt so stupid because you forgot that YOU HAVE A PHONE? And you can just give a call or a text, and save you from looking like an idiot in front of people that matter?

Slow and smooth, smooth is fast.

Quote of the week

"If its wise to see the good in the bad,
Then it must be fair to see the bad in the good".
-huzen, 2007

Jason at the Nobel Peace Prize Concert 2008

Beautiful Mess, with accompaniment. Live at the Nobel Peace Prize Concert 2008.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Breach and Clear (Clean?)

Bored soldiers applying urban combat "breach and clear" tactics to clean the laundry room.

Its quite funny but cool at the same time. Guess this is what they mean when they say "War come and go, but the soldier stays forever".

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

To whom it may concern

I feel like writing beautiful words tonight. Need to get some things of my chest and I hope this small act of positivity may relieve the tension I had from this week's work and, hopefully, help put a smile on your face as well as mine.

Here goes,

To Whom It May Concern

That breathless charm.
The tenderness that shows
from the laugh that wrinkles your nose,
it tickles this foolish heart.
Never ever change.
Keep that breathless charm,
It makes one breathless and weak
for a brief moment.
willing able and ready
the next.
What lies would I tell,
when all I tell is the truth.
The need to be brave,
when beauty can be even seen by the blind.
They say
Its beautiful only after the acquaintance.
I say (as I stood on my ground)
Its beautiful on that very moment I saw.

If these words be lies,
Then let all the other words I say
be lies.

omething didn't sound right. I might have figured it out but I don't know how to make it better. Writing nice things is kinda hard when you're used to being a dick about everything.
Change should be gradual as well as consistent. What better time than now?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Frantic Fortnight: The Ultimate Pile-up

The fever's catching up. I'm not gonna whine about how its really busy and how I missed having my free time. Yeah, so why procrastinate in the first place?

p/s: Cock punching should be used in self-defense. Using it as a form of banter is highly unethical. Please take note.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Prettiest Friend

this is what i look like today
and i'm trying not to pull out my hair
i'm trying not to show it cause i'm far too shy to grow it back there
that's probably why i like wearing hats
there's no denying i'm deferring the facts
avoiding confrontation
lacks tact in a situation
behind every line is a lesson yet to learn

but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overwhelming
and oh it goes to show
i've so much to know

i wrote this for my prettiest friend
who while trying not to prove that i care
trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
well she can't see she's making me crazy now
i don't believe she knows she's amazing how
she has me holding my breath
so i'd never guess that i'm a none such unsuitable, suitable for her

but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is complimentary
and oh it goes to show
the moral of the story is boy loves girl
and so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told

i know that i should be brave
even pretty can be seen by the blind
i know that i cannot wait
until the day we finally learn how to find each other
redefining open minds

and if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overjoyed
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone
and so on cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told

Thursday, March 19, 2009

March Mayhem: It starts

Got a new name for it:

Its the "March Mayhem".

Although it doesn't sound there yet, but its close and its better than the previous.

Another few months, we'll be facing the "September Crunch".

End Hip Hop for world peace.

"Readers of my online journal - I refuse to use the word "blog" sounds like something that lives on the riverbed and communicates through farts...."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


I foresee great times ahead.

I had an euphoric rush that propels into a state of "run Forrest run!" for something I hardly believe I would do. Yes, I am a total loser.

And then,

I managed to go through a Shakespeare lecture without FALLING ASLEEP, while being fully alert and paying attention for the first time this semester. Taming of the Shrew covered in one 3-hour session and I was "there".

I really need this kind of energy. Rough times ahead calls for the extra enthusiasm. I wish you the same.

p/s: No, I'm not crazy. If you are as pathetic as I am, it would propel you higher maybe higher than I did. I love those things I said.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Another post, another step towards being a pretentiously smart twit.

Went to Sunway last saturday, in the Pyramid. To unwind (konon la). Ate at glutton's hangout Hartz Chicken buffet. I think my calorie count and cholesterol levels skyrocketed to the moon and back. If my parents knew, they'd be furious. They also had a nice salad bar - they have celery which was awesome, if only they have peanut butter to go with it. Exercise is in order.

As went stroll around the mall, it reminds of 1Borneo back at home. It claims to be the largest hypermall in the region but it didn't look like the largest. The thought of it saddens me. Designer, labels and stuff. Is this what we want? Wait, the use of the word "we" is nothing but a selfish masking of the personal interest. Is this what I want? Is this what you want? "Yes and no" is a safe answer.


1. Boosts economy - generating trade, revenue and stuff like that.
2. Provides employment.
3. Welcoming tourists, they love shopping havens.
4. For stability, by providing people something to entertain themselves with.
5. Image development - whatever that means.


1. We want first class mentality. Not just first class facilities.
2. Cost of living increases.
3. Capitalism. Free market stuff like that.
4. Vanity...don't get me started on that.
5. My general contempt towards our fellow man...yeah, I'm just nit-picking.

Yeah, I'm being narrow minded and apathetic at best. Conservative is the best word for it. Keeping up with the latest fashion? I'm sorry, you lost me. I am the epitome of the typical retrosexual male. If I was famous, other retros would worship me. People like me just couldn't be bothered with these things. The only times where I would dress up properly (never extravagant) are on protocol-run events, special occasions and those rather special occasions. I would groom myself fitting to the minimum requirements needed to make contact with another human being. The point of dressing up grew from the need to attract the opposite sex. This means that I am the most undesirable person in town. Hell, I'm not even sexually appealing and I cannot imagine any female in the right mind would think so (you realize a lot of things when you look in the mirror often). But I do keep myself clean, and its doing wonders to my self-esteem. Well, maybe I'm just bitter because I can't afford the grandeur, extravagant things in life (but I can still afford the good ones). After all, I'm just a simple young man raised in by simple parents in a simple family.

The guys wanted to see Dragonball the movie, until we met Pie, Syud and her sisters - they happen to be in the mall that day. Pie told us the movie sucked, which I could already tell. So, we opted to watch Watchmen (that sounded redundant) . I should make this clear: I'm not a fan of superheroes and comic based movies. Sure I watch on HBO. In a cinema? Not likely. Its not because I hate them. Its because......well, let's just say "No". Since its from the director of 300, I kept an open mind (there was a lot of gritty violence). And...whaddaya know? It blew me away. I liked it. It turns out that the movie was not about superheroes, it was about people. Us. Or just them. The movie was very philosophical and brimming with symbolism here and there. There was no good guys bad guys. Just everyone. The end was plain but still a good surprise - a good plain I-think-I've-seen-that-before kind of surprise.
My only complain was Dr. Manhattan. His inclusion to the group of Watchmen is just too much. Over-the-top. Imagine: A group of superheroes consisting of normal people (except they are agile and stronger than usual) then here come the God-like superhero with abilities such bending matter, make people blow their asses off, teleport to any point in the solar system, totally immortal and infinitely powerful - to join in the fight for justice among regular, weak, bleedable and breakable twits. I guess he's there to symbolize something. Ok, I'm not going to give a review of the movie. I should leave that task to the respective people who do reviews. I'll only say: its a good movie. The superhero theme is there just to attract people to watch it.

After the movie, spent time loitering around the mall. I remembered my mom kept telling me to go get myself a wrist watch. "Oh yeah", I said to myself. Its been like - what? - 3 or 4 years since I've worn one. My wrist watches have trouble lasting long enough for me. My last watch had its strap replaced 2 or 3 times. Its frame also had to be knock with a jeweler's hammer because it was bent slightly out of shape (it was steel!). My mom always told "What kind of man who does not wear a watch?" I dunno. A man who has a good sense of time and doesn't a piece of expensive ornamental instrument to prove it? You see, sunshine means morning. Sun on top of my head and its hot, means its afternoon. Sun fading away, its evening. When its dark, it means its already night. I'm good. Biological clock still ok. I know when I'm hungry, when I'm sleepy and when I should take a bath.

Ok, so I did get one anyway. Finally. A decent one. As I walked into the shop that sells watches (whats the name for it again?), I looked around and had a realization. I always had this bad impression of men who often bought expensive gifts for their women - as if they were trying to buy themselves to love. I realized that they (or just some) did so because they had this overflowing feeling of love inside them. Men just had to let those feelings show. Men are creatures who express themselves throught their actions rather than words. So, back to my quest of getting a wrist watch. I was taking a long time trying them on, comparing and deciding which one best fits me. Then the sales assistant came and said,

"Why don't you ask your friend if it looks good on you?"

So, I realized that it means "your self-image is determined by other people". I guess that's what fashion is all about. I rebel. I think this is one of the ideas that I have rebelling and running away from all this time - which was very difficult and almost impossible.


So that's it.

Here's another lesson: don't burden yourself with overanalysis. Its going to hinder you from actual progress and you're going to miss life's experiences.

I like this cover of one of Michael Buble's song.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

staying positive

By now,


I should know what must be done. I shall press on. Keep going.
Everything's going to be alright. I hope.

Have faith.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cinta: chance and unforeseen variables

Let's start with some quotes. Everyone likes putting up quotes in their posts. Its kinda easier that way, i guess. Taking up someone's ideas to clarify your own. Saves time and it makes you appear more intelligent and cultured (with the impression that you read a lot).

"If you think that the dance don't fit your style, well, just remember this: Don't let your mind stop you from having a good time" - Jason Mraz, Live in Kuala Lumpur.

"Wise men say, Only fools rush in" - Elvis, Can't Help Falling in Love.

"You make the wrong mistake!" - Eric Gapang, one of my favourite all-star quotes.

"If you think your life is a sugar-coated strawberry, then mine is just the strawberry" - oh, yeah. That was me. On "Pathetic Twits Who Can't Enjoy Strawberries without the Sugar-Coating".

Now, to the real post. Evening classes were canceled so it means I have a little bit of free time. It also means I missed a class with the lovely Miss Norhashima. Having her as the teaching grammar instructor is a good thing. I am no longer feeling sleepy or falling asleep in class - like I always do in my other classes (presentation groups: I deeply apologize). Now, I rotate between feeling sleepy and gawking at her....oh yeah, I still learn something in Teaching Grammar, mind you.

Yesterday was one of those rare occasions when I watched a Malay movie. A Malay Love Movie to be exact. Cinta. Honestly (an overrated word and overused), it blew my expectations. It was unlike any other Malay movies I've seen. The Sembilu series (stereotypical example, ha) was unbearable to watch due to its super-unbearable mucky corniness which always leaves in a state of a crouching-rigor-mortis. There were other corny movies I refuse to mention. They are so corny and lame that I wished that they should be placed under the rating of 18PG - where the PG stands for "Pretentious Gits". Maybe my scathing criticism is inappropriate and does injustice to our local industry but those kind of movies could only impress generations of those up to 10 years ago. I could only wish for the best for our local movie industry. May the magical fairies descend from the tree of wishes and bring chocolate smiles to every boy and girl in the land. (Haven't watched Puteri Gunung Ledang, so can't say if its actually good).

is a love movie with a fresh twist in its storytelling - 5 different relationships converge on the same setting and the same timeline. Let's skip on the Love part and go straight to business. What caught my attention is: in the opening scene, Taufik is seen walking in an alley when a bag of discarded food landed right in front of him. He picked it up and went to the nearest rubbish bin. Here comes the interesting part: as stood in front of the bin he decides whether he should just put the bag on top of the bin or in it, given that the lid is covered with shit. He did the right thing by putting it in and having his hand smeared with shit. As he walks away, another discarded food fell from above. This scene really means a big deal to the movie and the modern life in general.

Doing the right thing is difficult and results are often undesirable. Experience has taught me the same thing. Trying to do the right thing can often result in a situation where you lose. Being righteous has often been dismissed as naive, stupid and...stupid. People tell me that all the time.

"Eh, tak payah la buang masa. Biarkan saja."
"Ha, tengok! Bukan jadi apa-apa pun"
"Apa yang kamu dapat?"
"Skema betul la kamu ni"

Familiar? Of course, but I had to do those things because my system will bother me throughout the day if I don't. I do recall the first time I came to Shah Alam. Everyone was pushing, elbowing and other verbs - trying to get on a rapid bus on a busy afternoon at the main campus. Seeing it crammed to it's limit, I stood back. A friend dashed and pushed himself into the bus, squashing that little guy in front. As he was climbing, clambering on the sea of people he looked back at me (trip macho la konon) and said,

"This is life".

Bullshit, dude. If this is really life, I'm not living it. Its not worth it. I can wait for another bus. I have always been the non-conformist. Being "skema" (or what other things you mortal may call it) is futile but it is how I rebel against our social beliefs. Call me naive and stupidly innocent. I'll take it. Think about it: "Peace, Not War"?. Is it really possible? As long as we realize our differences, there's no way we (people) could get along totally - without the minor discomfort which sparks one conflict after another. Here's another: "Save our planet"? Its a statement of narrow self-interest. Let me rephrase that: "Let's us save the environment to save ourselves". The planet does not need to be saved because it couldnt die. Meteorite showers, toxic clouds, turbulent climates million years ago happened yet the planet still lives. Being a non-conformist also explains my almost non-existent fashions consciousness. I can't imagine myself doing the "ketam-ketam" in the morning so I can apply excessive amount of hair gel for that spiky sharkhead look like EVERYBODY ELSE IS DOING. Just because everyone is doing it and its the "in" thing doesn't mean I have to hop on board. I have beautiful silky hair, just so you know.

BTW, Izza did mentioned that Capricorns like me are born pessimists. True. However, its not all that bad. Sometimes, I think myself as a sadistic super pessimists. I take a look something and the first thing to come into mind? A worst case scenario. I always think of the worst case possible that can occur to another fellow man, not that I hate other people. For example, a man on a motorbike - 90-100 km/h - one mistake - use your imagination. Pessimism is my optimism. It keeps me on my toes. I'm aware of potential drawbacks and dangers, for which I am to prepare myself. It gives me the benefit of forward thinking. I could always keep one feet on the ground, while propping my head upwards - for positive thinking.

Ok, that was quite a side-track. Back to the movie Cinta, there is something that it says about love that I find compatible with what I believe about the damn thing. To most people, love is all about "winning". To me? Its about keeping it alive. To keep on going. Unconditionally. Friends kept pushing me and putting thoughts in my head:

"Hold her hand"
"Assault! Assault" (WTF? Seriously)
"There she is sitting with some friends. Go tell her now"
"Kiss her. KISS HER. On the lips, eh? Must!" (Oh, I'd love to do that. Really do. But WTH, dude?)

It brings me to the question: does being in love mean you must make that person yours, at all costs? To own them? Is it about "winning"? Then what? I may not know the answer because I just a young man unfamiliar with the art of love. Again, being the non-conformist that I am, I'm always trying to define my own experiences in life. I love it when the experience leave me between these two: 1) leaving me in a state of flushing euphoria or 2) feeling stupid about myself for being tongue-tied and downright silly. I'm always struggle trying to be sincere and unconditional in my conquest. Again, being righteous is a difficult thing. I'm always seeking ways to make one feel appreciated but often I fail. I'm still working on this.

The movie also tells us that this "love" thing is very unpredictable. Really? Is love all about chance? Unpredictable, it is. Life is a constant bombardment of unforeseen variables. Chance just sets the stage for us and the rest is what make of it. You'll get nowhere if you fail to take action because of fear for the variables.

Time unpermitting, I have to end this post. Conclusively, Cinta has earned its place in my all-star favourite Malay movies - along with movies such as Sepet and Ghubra.

I still havent thought of what to post about my recent attendance to the first Jason Mraz concert in Kuala Lumpur. The newspaper said a total of 9000 fans attended the 1 hour and a half show that night. Malaysia loves Jason, apparently.

Till then.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What he gave

A strange man uses holographic tools to build a world for the woman he loves. This is a short film by Bruce Branit. Its romantic yet sad.

I wish I have those tools.

Monday, March 09, 2009


I'm still working on the new posts for this blog. In the meantime, let's talk about the F-22 Raptor. It sleek and sexy. Sexiest aircraft ever (next to the Comanche) and I like it. Costs USD 191 million a unit. The first stealth all-round capability fighter jet in its class.

Maintenance team


The cockpit's like a bubble...of the future!


The only reason why I bought Discovery Magazine issue 7.

Gosh, SO SEXY. hurr hurr.....

Thursday, March 05, 2009

"Hey, its YOUR song!"

Dats rite! Beautiful Mess it is. I'll update the rest later.

(Digicam batteries went out in the middle of the concert. DAMMIT! This is from my phone)

Gosh. It feels SO good (note - Awesome!).

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Immolation: Slow Painful

I've read that people say the stench of a burned victim is awful. Those fire victims. It makes me wonder when a human is burnt to death, he/she gives out an awful stench. Does it only smell awful to other humans as well? Exclusively to human beings? Or do animals feel the same way?

If animal meat was burnt, we wouldn't normally say its give a haunting stench. We would just say it smells "cooked", "overcooked" or "burnt". Maybe its our perception of death. An animal's, for example: poultry, death means that food is being prepared. A man burning to death is man's death. Another hypothesis I've came up with is the bowels and organs. Based on my readings, dead bodies are preserved for funeral by removing the bowels and organs. Removing them slows down the decomposition process because our stomach and bowels stores fermented food and bacterium while organs contains blood and bile which decomposes quickly. Animals that are cooked usually have been gutted and have their bowels removed which explains the presence of the "awful" stench.

Death by immolation is the most painful way to die I can imagine. Compared to drowning and asphyxiation. Think about: Hell is depicted to be full of flames. Flames so divinely hot that they could be burning black in colour. Death by heat: can be explained through how a man could die from being stranded in the middle of a desert. The hypothalamus regulates body functions including body temperature. When the heat is extreme and we start running out of bodily fluids (water and sweat) to cool the body, our bodily functions starts to go haywire - we start seeing things (this can be further explained in hallucinations caused by the brain shutting down to conserve energy@resources). The hypothalamus gets fucked up. Temperature gets out of control. The brain boils. You die. Death by immolation is almost similar, except that it is faster and far more painful. I've burned my finger accidentally with a matchstick when I was 8. It was awfully painful. Imagine a burn on your finger, multiply the pain by a hundred- to a thousand-fold and then, imagine that pain is felt on every inch of your skin. However, that is just an approximation.....

This is horrible. I should stop. I'm going watch some Pixar or Disney movies. If this had occurred when i was ten years younger, I could be a potential serial killer. Thank god for my parents...Oh, dear God. Rid me of these thoughts...

Monday, March 02, 2009


I don't really know but this must be how it feels to be a girl going through the golden time of the month.

I've been moody since last week. There's also a huge amount of rage going through I could beat the crap out of the next asshole who looks at me funny. Evidently, I've been biting heads of the guys at home all week long (most of the time, they deserve it. No worries there).

I can't help it. This anger. Its very consuming. Hope its just a phase and pray it will pass.

I am angry.

I am very angry.