What am I afraid of? Why am I always running?
Is it failure? Or am I just the same 'ol chickenshit?
I am in love, am I? Then why am I not doing anything about it?
Why am I hiding behind the sorry excuse of being busy? i could have just ditched my frens and everything else that I have to, then make up for it later. Why am I being such a bastard to myself? Why didnt I go to the moments that happens once in every FOREVER?!
Why do i always have to miss the IMPORTANT things that I should attend, by all means?
And now WHAT? Im having a guilt trip now? Im punishing myself for it now? What GOOD is that going to do? And now im going to burden myself with all the IFs. Everytime there are chances to prove myself, I blew it and Im going to blow it again.
Now I have just made myself as the UNDESERVING because now Im nothing but CHICKENSHIT. maybe I was just plain undeserving from the beginning.
No amount of apologies can make up for this is the only thing im know right now.