Friday, August 08, 2008

Guys, Listen to Me: There is NO Chain.

Recently, i went out for lunch with a female friend of mine at 18. We talked about her recent relationship which turned out rather badly. Honestly, I really think that this was it. Her relationship with this guy could really work this time. The guy had what it takes plus he is ready and willing for the big "commitment". I think everything was set in the right places: she got to know his family and he got to know hers, he has a solid stable job, and they were in love.

But its sad how everything turned out NOT like how we hope them to be. They had an argument over the phone (this was not unusual, mind you). Everything was as the "usual" until he said those words:

"You know. You're JUST LIKE HER"

...and that was it. It hit her really hard. Thats when she finally had to draw the line, which she did reluctantly. She know and I know that the man had a bad history in relationship but that was not the point.

The man was living in his past. He compared her to his previous flame. Or he was hoping that she was her. I learned a very valuable lesson in our conversation:

"A new love is a new story everytime. No matter how vague or similar the circumstances are, they are different. She is different. They are not the same person no matter how identical they may be."

The past are not supposed to linger in the present. But that doesnt mean they should be forgotten. We should learn from the past and it should give us something to think about. The past should never burden you. You should never hurt your other half just because you were hurt by someone else.

BTW, she's doing fine at the moment and she's taking a break from having any relationship whatsoever. Please guys. Dont let it get it to you.


S O U L - O said...

always let bygones be bygones. What's best is for us to follow. the rest is up for elimination. glad that ur friend is doing fine. xoxo

The Caped Crusader said...

I guess I'm partly guilty for this. I tend to accuse my partner for certain things that my ex would've done. Thing is, she didn't.

But I'm always learning. little.

when a dork speaks... said...

I dont know why but I cried when reading this entry.

Prolly because I AM in your friend's situation and the entry reminisces me with what HE has said and done to me.


Zen said...


Rite. She's doing pretty well as we speak. She's strong and she'll recover soon. except she's going to stay single for some time. thats kinda blissful, at times.


I'm glad you realize that. I really you two end up being happy. But who am I tell you whats rite and whats not?


Sorry I made you remember these things. Maybe you can get yourself ice cream if thats any consolation.

Who am I to say this?

Elvie DeChantal said...

but, what happen if your other half doesn't even accuse you of things but he left??

Been there. been hurt as well. lucky, we manage to get over things and start anew.

and lucky, we never accused each other of our past relationships.