Monday, April 20, 2009

What we do

Out of nowhere, I remembered an argument I had with a friend not long ago. I was about to make a decision (which I am not at liberty to disclose, but its kinda important and decisive). This is as close as I can remember, the way our argument goes:

"Why? Can't you see? Listen to me: You're going to regret this if you don't"

"Then let me regret."

"Do you realize what're you doing?"


"Then why? Its a big mistake."

"I'm young. Mistakes. That's what I do."

"That's not an excuse"

"Its NOT an excuse. I make mistakes. Its what I want to do."

"What?! (Agitated)"

"C'mon. I'm young. I'm not getting younger. If what I do is going to end being miserable and sad, so be it. Let it. I don't have to listen to - no offense - you and your advice. Yours is different. Yours maybe worked wonders but this is my experience. I can't let you, or anyone, define them for me. If its going to get fucked up, then let it. I'll learn. I'm gonna keep making these mistakes."

"...until you get it right?"

"Yes. And no. I'm doing it as long as I feel like making them."

"huh? WHY? (again)"

"I'm hoping to find meaning. I fail to see any in yours. If anything wants to happen, let it. I'll recover. "

"ya la. Whatever la. (annoyed and puzzled)"

So, its one of those (very) rare occasions where I feel like a total badass. I guess this is one of the things my friends hate about me: If I'd say I want to do something, there's no amount of warning and advice can change my mind. Unless, I see the reason to not do so myself.

Nothing beats being young. Being young, you take risks. You make mistakes. Thats what is great about it. Don't let other tell you what your experiences should be like. Forget self-help books, forget motivationals, forget role models. Its your story. There's a lot still left untold for you to write. I really hate being told what to do and being told to be like other people (hate this the most). Don't you?

The biggest regret I have is that I spent my younger years sitting in the background as I watched others flinging gaily up in the air with no safety on.

Regrets? I'll take care of that later.


Anonymous said...

hehe..dr ko sj tu liau..

Ibrahim said...

Oh, I just love this.

Amanda Christine Wong said...

me too

Zen said...

the self-empowering moment.

Lets go crazy because of our youths.

Zen said...

Our youth demands it.

go get yourself in trouble...