Tuesday, April 21, 2009

an update

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Ah. The exam.


*cue rock guitar solo ala Zero Punctuation*

Yes, I will whine about how ridiculous the exam was this afternoon. It was ridiculous because there were terms that we were not aware of and it costs us both 10 and 5 marks each. I understand that this is a uni paper, and we are supposed to learn on our own but that was totally unprecedented (and I'm not really sure what unprecedented means. I dont have a dictionary).

What I want to say is: for the first time in years, I felt very nervous about and exam. The last time was during the first day of PMR and the first day of SPM - the later papers, I didn't really cared much. Back to SLA. Is it because the paper is very difficult? Is it because I didn't know what to expect from it? I think its hugely because I had terrible assessment scores throughout the semester. Not to mention making a terrible impression on the lecturer: Being late, sleeping in class, submitting assignments, half-assed presentations and all.

To me, failing is not a big issue. Its still an issue but its doesnt really bother me much, its not like I rarely failed in my studies. My concern is to maintain a minimum 3.00 average. I need that minimum average for my future plans. Also, its not like parents didn't really care. They just don't yap about how badly I did for my grades. However, what bothers me is that look on their face. That disappointed look. And that tone. I had it coming to me when I got my first grade pointer:

"Just 2.8?" *berkata dengan selamba sambil mengambil selekoh ke kiri*

"Yeah. 2.8. But I passed all subjects" *desperately trying to justify my complacency*

"ok"

And I get it. I'll try to do better next, which I did. You can't imagine how much power your parents have over you. How do I justify myself this time? I have 3 potential fails in my pockets. How do I deal with that?

Pray that I will not fail those 3. If you're reading this, pray for me too. I'd be very grateful.

("ooh, suddenly Huzen cares about his grades. How surprising for something who is very apathetic and pessimistic about everything. Sarcastic applause".
F- you buddy!)

4 comments:

Ibrahim said...

Am afraid too. Is it wrong if I say that I choose the wrong lecturers this time? And the wrong mates to do work? Because it can't be me. Haha.

Zen said...

Its how all the elements come together.

No matter how good you are:

Give yourself a confusing/superstrict/ridiculous lecturer and some mates you're not "used" to work with - trust me, you'll get complacent.

I learned my lesson in my 4th sem. I don't blame anyone. It just happens. And I did presevere.

♥ Aisyah Sinclair ♥ said...

1) "I understand that this is a uni paper, and we are supposed to learn on our own but that was totally unprecedented (and I'm not really sure what unprecedented means. I dont have a dictionary)."

--> I smiled upon reading this.

2) "Pray that I will not fail those 3. If you're reading this, pray for me too. I'd be very grateful."

--> good luck, zen!

Zen said...

1) I had a big Macmillan at home. I used to carry it all the way to class everyday in Gaya. I love that thing.

....now that you've mentioned it, I just realized that I have the Internet. Why didn't I think of that? (Turns out the Internet is not just about social sites, Youtube and, *cough* porn).


2)Thanks a lot. I really needed that. I pray the best for you in this and everything along the way.