Friday, September 05, 2008

Burnout: A Newer Low

Last semester was the starting point for this suckiness I'm going through. This semester is no different. I think it has just gotten worse. Last semester, it took six weeks into the semester for me to realize that i need to study (or do any work whatsoever). This semester? 8 weeks. 8 goddamn weeks. Now, i'm beginning to feel the smelly heat of my negligence. And I'm going to suck balls really hard, like last semester.

First, I failed my curriculum test. Second, I got average score for my Methodology in Reading (6/10). I thrashed my sociolinguistic test by not answering a 10-point worth question, now I'm waiting for the announcement of my failure. I'm left far behind in my creative writing assignments. Oh yeah, I even botched my Research test. I don't know whats going on in my literature class. The only thing I did right was my French role-play (Thanks Khai. For the last minute adjustments - sorry couldn't help you finalize our script).

It seems that I'm experiencing something known as BURNOUT. Some of the symptoms are like the following:

1. I am lazier than ever (sorry Jazlan, Kich, and others). I'm always late. And my attendance is something to be worried about.

2. I'm not paying attention in class. I let my mind wander. Even if I did, only for a brief moment and I won't understand anything. My brain refuses to learn.

3. I'm not really enthusiastic about anything now. Food does not excite me anymore. Eating is just a burden that I have to go through.

4. Review? What review?

5. I keep feeling depressed and always moody. I may not be listening to what you're trying to say to me. Please repeat what you said. Sorry.

6. I want to go HOME. Now.

There are times when I feel like giving up. If I could take a semester off because I don't want to learn anymore. My academic life is like a wheel: so many ups an downs. I did good in PMR and sucked in SPM. I sucked in my Foundation then rocked in my First Year. Now, sailing through fifth sem, I start to suck and go all QQ and stuff like that.

IM TIRED OF EVERYTHING!!! I wanna go away!!!........*whine whine rant rant*

Its feels like I'm going to fail a subject this sem. But that could be a good thing - I might have to extend a semester :)

Academics is not the only thing I do in life. I have other things too. Its just so important for some plan I have in the future.

I just hope the long fall is going to give a huge momentum at the end of the fall to uphill again.......


The Caped Crusader said...

Zen, i failed my CNI test too. Grr.

I know this might not be the best encouragement, but "LEK AA."

Jahatnye aku.

Syud said...

uh oh.

now aku takut bile ko sebut segale asaimen.

*lari kelua pentas dan duduk di dalam stor sambil menangis kesedihan dan tersedu-sedan*

S O U L - O said...

jen jen,

tis sounds serious.
u still have time to catch up be4 final exam.
and i wish u all d best. =)

Zen said...


dats very thoughtful of you.


*knock knock*

"Syud, dah nak buke pose ni!"


I'm doing my best but I dun wan to study all the time.

W said...

again, count me in. (:

this sem's the sux-est of all. frankly speaking.