anthony burgess and malaya

I've just read Yasmin Ahmad's film. It is mentioned that Anthony Burgess wrote a book called the Malayan Trilogy. Really? He, THE writer of A Clockwork Orange? That IS a surprise. In his book, he stated that he is not proud of it despite it being his most famous publishing.

I love Clockwork. It dwells on what it means to be human. Good and evil is a choice. Depriving one that choice, depending on how you look at it, is rather inhumane - regardless of intention. However, that is no reason to stop convincing people to choose good over the other. Persuasion rather than forcing an ideal is in order, fortunately.

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train ride

On a train bound for Penang. I'm sitting next to the window. As I watch the change of scene outside, I can think of one thing: cue soundtrack - Gypsy MC.

"Fame is nothing more than loving someone,
Fortune is nothing more than loving what you do"

now, would be a good time to reflect everything that has happened these past few months. Or read a book. Or get some sleep. Or whatever.

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indecent exposure?

yep, another random post. hmm...went into a restroom/locker room in sutera just now. saw some old dude walking around in his birthday suit. that was probably things that would definitely go into my "must-not-see-ever" list. I bet these guys aren't from around here. there goes cultural sensitivity.

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i take my liberties whenever i can

God Rests in Reason

yeah, the title was a direct rip-off from a Mraz song. but here's a story i found from Disenchanted.com via Mightyinteresting.com:

“I had a vision this morning” the boy said to his father, “while throwing stones into a pond and watching the ripples. I saw another little boy on the furthest end of the Universe, on a planet so far away that if you’d shone a light in its direction on the second the Big Bang happened, the light still wouldn’t have reached it by now. And he was throwing stones into a pond just like me, and the circles were exactly the same.”

“They’re the same everywhere,” his father replied.

“So how do they know to be? Where did they learn their shape from?”

“Do you know what Pi is?”

“Yeah, we learned it in school last month.”

“Well Pi doesn’t have to be told what it is, just like 4 doesn’t need to be told it’s the sum of 2 + 2. And as long as Pi is what it is, every circle is the same everywhere.”

“But where do Pi and 4 come from?”

“They don’t come from anywhere, we just discover them whenever something happens. Numbers were always there, even if we never bothered to look for them, even if nobody ever drew a circle, or nobody ever threw a stone into a pond.”

Its the universe through the eyes of mathematical philosophy. From where I'm standing (or sitting and reading this), this is a discussion on the existence of God (that's Allah to you, if you are a Muslim). Regardless of what we do we, where we are and what we see - faith is always there with us.

4 and Pi is always the same everywhere and it is there even if we did not discover it or even more, look for it. so is God. the only difference is in how we look at it, only the concept being constant across different understandings. For atheists, the inner workings of science and maths is the act of God. the probabilities, multiple variables, and the one in a billion chances.

Concepts such as luck, fluke and coincidences: that is proof He exists. despite being dismissed as a mathematical chance. but how do numbers exists? how and why do we perceive numbers? there are differences of faith because that what is because human is all about. That is what sets up apart: capable of sentient thought and being totally random:

"You can have 3 geths argue in the same room and you get 3 different opinions. You put 3 humans in a room and you get 6 different opinions. Or more."
- Geth, Mass Effect 2

It is our strength. Sadly, that could also lead to our downfall.

Korean Cyberathletes

"To win a championship, you must have APM (actions per minute) between 200 and 300". That is fast. the normal person could probably do 60. I could hardly do 40 (an estimate, did really measured the thing).

And, "you can be fast, but not too fast". WTH, 200+ APM isnt fast enough? and you say not too fast? I'd replace my hands with a spasmic spider and still wouldn't go that fast. Its mind-boggling.

unproductive counterproductive

I am quite bogged by work and everything lately. I have my holding-everything-off until-they-dangle-precariously-at-the-edge attitude to thank for. there's the postgrad proposal due this monday, some holiday-trip planning (which loses direction, but i'll fix that soon) and of course, marking those DREADED exam papers. One of the teachers here said: "If they had to answer one paper, we had to answer, like, [one paper times number of students times number of classes]. yeah, those white-haired dudes weren't kidding when they say being a teacher is a whole lot of shitstorm going on all the time.

This afternoon, during lunch, the principal reminded me to prepare a paperwork on next year's six months English intensive programme. By next week. You see, there's thing between me and paperwork. We never get along. Like my blog here. I noticed my posts have become shorter every time compared to when first got into this blogging thing. Even this blog lacks direction! Posts are random, hardly inspiring and whiny at best! I do have a plan though: to blog about independent games and how I explore their value.

I just woke up from an early sleep (8pm, earliest ever!). And now i find hard to focus on whatever work I have to do.

Over these past few months, I've come to realize that I am all that I don't wish to be: I am vain, materialistic, arrogant and ignorant. But for once, let me live the dream. I'm no saint.


p/s: If the trip does not go as planned, we might have to do it the real backpacking adventure way.

I have learned:

That you can have faith but you can never be too hopeful.
No matter how promising something may be, always keep at least a few toes on the ground.
Beating around the bush is bad for you.
You will never see it coming until its right there staring at you.
Always know that you have everything to be thankful for.



If forgetting these lessons don't kill you, it would definitely tear you apart.

p/s: a bit emo tonight. I need motivation. I am pathetic.

xperia x10 gets an update

a phone with powerful hardware but paired with somewhat lacking software. SE recently announced they're releasing an update: upgrading the buggy 1.6 android to vers. 2.1.

read here

i hope it fixes whatever problems the phone is having at the moment. I'm looking forward to that because I'm thinking of getting one someday. And please do not suggest me the iPhone. It is SO mainstream. everybody wants an iPhone. Its such a waste for a sexy device like this to not get the recognition it deserves. Hold that thought: recognition will make it mainstream. better not.