xperia x10 gets an update

a phone with powerful hardware but paired with somewhat lacking software. SE recently announced they're releasing an update: upgrading the buggy 1.6 android to vers. 2.1.

read here

i hope it fixes whatever problems the phone is having at the moment. I'm looking forward to that because I'm thinking of getting one someday. And please do not suggest me the iPhone. It is SO mainstream. everybody wants an iPhone. Its such a waste for a sexy device like this to not get the recognition it deserves. Hold that thought: recognition will make it mainstream. better not.

Mood: ^__^

Celebrated mom's belated birthday this week. Treated her to dinner at Secret Recipe (along with dad, my little brother and sister) and let her order whatever she wanted. There was slices of cake, some pastry with chicken and such. It does cost a lot but not really a dent in the bank. I've spent way more money on ridiculous stuff. Take my Razer Lachesis, for example. 9 out of 10 of the people I've shown it to tell me I'm ridiculous because I could get a slightly better one for 3/4 the price. Hey, it was sleek and sexy! (Doy! I am vain).


The next day I spent outing with some of the people I miss the most. We did a lot of catching up. Stories were shared. Jokes were told. Gossips were...uh....gossiped. Debts were settled. Feelings reaffirmed - well, not really really reaffirmed but i felt somewhat fulfilled and some unspoken promises were made and shown. Well, it felt like there a lot of promise. Love can't be rushed.

All in all. I felt really good tonight. I can really feel the difference made by my improving mood. I am totally psyched up. I think I've just found the kind of morale support I needed all along to get through the difficult days ahead. I just need to pray that I won't lose it.


I think I'm ready to go back to work this Monday.

p/s: that Xperia X10 looks really sleek and sexy! Since i'm not going to get an iPhone4 (it is SO mainstream), it'll be in my wishlist this end of the year.

p/p/s: Oh yeah. This is Jason Mraz's cover of Carlos Olmeda's Dear Anna. The lyrics' kinda cheesy but i think it was well-written. Dig.

supporting your favorite industry

Being alive is one big hypocrisy by itself. Some of the things we do to ourselves; our way of life, how our "needs" ravages the world around and etc etc, justifies that we're better off dead. However, i'm not going to talk about some confusing, over-complicated existentialism crap (because I often confuse myself. Often.)

I'd like to rant about our hypocrisy as consumers (don't worry, this includes me). Often I came upon people who claim to be big fans of some music band. They wear their t-shirts, have their mp3s on the portable players, dress like them, always talking about how awesome the band is and simply being hardcore fans. the problem? try asking them if they ever bought an album. an original album. I always use this fact as my favourite counterpoint whenever someone compares and questions my preference for music.

"So, you're a die hard _____ fan, huh? When was the last time you bought their album?". Snap!

I always tried buying originals whenever it is convenient. I got myself legit CDs back when I was a fan of Mariah Carey (embarassing confession!) but now she sucks hard, and im not just talking about her music. When I got into Silverchair, I bought a cassette. Living in Shah Alam, I had access to original PC games which cost me an arm and leg (a full-blown gaming PC cost me my soul).

Its sad and funny how we often steal from the people we love to see grow into something awesome. I guess this could possibly be the reason why local artists are very desperate in the first place.

In a related topic, I recently made my own Paypal account. Its amazing how convenient this thing is. I don't have fill in my CC details (no., billing address, mother's name, name on card, security number, online pin, etc etc) for every purchase. all i have to do is login into my account and your purchase detail is automatically filled in - total price in foreign currency and MYR. I dont even have to reveal my credit card information.

Being a gamer does not necessarily means you have to break the bank to enjoy games. I'm showing my support for the indie games (they are the pc gaming equivalent of indie music) industry. You have garage bands, we have bedroom coders. Its a great way to enjoy gaming without the need to own bank-busting PCs (im playing on a recently outdated laptop). Plus, they're really cheap!!

VVVVVV (or theletterVsixtimes)

On paper, the premise of this game is TOTALLY BORING: You flip your character up and down in order to avoid obstacles. In the hands of untalented designers, it is. That's not the case with Terry Cavanaugh. He made it very exhilirating. Flawless execution of moves is the greatest satisfaction in Cavanaugh's world. Here is the promo from Youtube:




I'm against advertising stuff in my post but i felt guilty for downloading this awesome piece via torrent. Its available via http://thelettervsixtim.es/ and Steam for the price of USD 4.99 (MYR 16.29). If you're (a nerd like me, or appreciate music in general) into 8-bit chiptunes be sure to check http://www.souleye.se/ for the full soundtrack (bought the full album for 4 bucks, best deal ever. the techno/electronica beat is awesome).

pro-tip: after you bought the album, let Souleye know by email that you saw his post in a thread from ThePiratebay. He'll acknowledge that by giving you a download to one of his exclusive unreleased mp3. Hell, you dont even have to buy his album for that.


Minecraft

Remember Farmville (or any one of those Facebook crap)? Remember how you spent hours slaving away trying to reach the next level so you unlock higher tier items? How spending hours, days, weeks and getting rewarded by some useless decorative ornament? Those days are totally over. Minecraft lets you do everything in real time and its nowhere close to those facebook crap you've been playing.

Its THE real sandbox game. its like a big ass virtual LEGO box. you don't wait for items to be accessible and you don't have to earn virtual money. you work your ass for that and there's a whole lot fun in that. even single equipment is manufactured. You can dig underground as far as you want. I had fun making a stone cottage on top and an elaborate labyrinth beneath. you can try fabricating almost everything imaginable. this video below shows how someone made a rollercoaster using the tools given:




Available from Minecraft.net for €9.95 EUR (MYR 44.15, totally bought it. you know me.). If that costs too much, you can play it for FREE in you web browser. There's multiplayer too!. Its still in alpha stage but for paying gamers, always know that you will always get updates for no extra charge.

warning: It is G-DAMN addictive. take my word for it.


hmm....this post has turned into an ad. and don't get paid for it. Let just say this is how I show my support for my favourite industry.


p/s: Its getting late and I have work tomorrow. See ya.

Kek

Cerita ini berdasarkan keterangan seorang saksi yang berada di tempat kejadian.


Setting: Dalam pejabat. Tengahari.


Cikgu A: "Puan. Suka. Makan. Kek apa?" *dengan gaya ala cheerleader*

PK HEM: "STRAWBERRY! STRAWBERRY!" *sambil menari*



keesokan harinya, Puan membelanja guru-guru di kantin makan kek yg ditempah khas (bukan kek strawberi seperti yg diharapkan).

hahahahaha! WTH man!

Who I am Today

For every acquaintance made, parted with, they gave me a small piece to add to myself. And to swap the pieces i need to let go. This is dedicated to those people.

I thank the boys who kicked my a-s when I was 17
I thank the ones who chose to laugh and those who acted mean
I thank the bullies for body slams and accidents and then some
They shaped my life; they made me like who I've become

I thank the girls who gave a hand and showed me how to dance
I thank the ones who passed who never gave a second glance
I learned that it's okay for some to go and some to stay
They shaped my life; they made me love who I am today
They shaped my life; they made me love who I am today

thank the captains of the boats who brave the sea
I thank the farmers for the sowing of the seeds
I thank the men who paved the roads I'm travelling on
They shaped my life, they took me down the path I've gone

I thank the volunteers for giving up their time for free
I thank the engineers; all those who keep our water clean
I thank the janitors for all their years behind the scenes
They shaped my life they taught me generosity
They shaped my life they let me see who I could be

Thank the boys who kicked my a-s when I was 17
I thank the ones who chose to laugh and those who acted mean
I thank the bullies for all the names they called along the way
They shaped my life; they made me love who I am today
They shaped my life; they made me love who I am today

You shape my life. You make me love who I am today.


-Jason Mraz, Who I am Today


Life is Good.

next up: unicorns!

My entire love life is like a cross between chasing rainbows and shooting for the stars (while hardly landing on any moon). Faced with so many awkward and "oh-shit-this-burns" moments, one might ask why would anyone put themselves through all that again?

I admit it is exciting every time and I do not compare one experience with another. Each one is great in its own right. Another reason is that I am just plain stubborn ("tubal" some people call it).

Best of all, I'd do it all over again just for the sake of keeping dreams alive. Its something like optimism or just having something to look forward to.

p/s: probably the cheesiest post ever. like XXtra Cheese on the Crust cheesy. No shit.

(unauthorized image from Google Images)

quick update

got a lot of ideas on what to write lately but unable to realize them due to the lack of willpower and just being plain complacent. I probably wanted to say i had a very "ideal" day last week. It was a wednesday.

Came to work. Sat down and did some paperwork. Went to class, lesson went particularly smooth (not that it was successful, though). Right after that, went to join with the other teachers at the cafeteria. Updated on recent events and gossips along with some drinks and morsels. went back to the staff room. continued writing LP for the next 4 days. Watched and laughed at the other wackier teachers while waiting for the final bell to ring. Punched out. went home with the boys. got online for an hour and took an afternoon nap afterwards. Took a bicycle ride for at least 7km.

It felt perfect. I wish everyday felt that way.

So, that aside, here is the latest to do list:

1. Read at least 2 articles per week. Dr. Ros been breathing down our necks for this 30 Sept deadline.
2. Save money for a netbook. I totally need it.
3.Save money for graduation-vacation. can't wait can't wait can't wait.
4. Buy a smartphone (NO HUZEN NO! *slap*)
5. Settle outstanding credit card debt.
6. Pay Dad.
7. Give younger sister some money (hmm..., DENIED! HAHA!)
8. Wash socks. Seriously. Wash socks.

So, I'd better get on with my proposal. Then, procrastinate some more. Maybe not.

listen

One of the things I hate the most is when people telling what I should do and what I should care about. This might make sound arrogant, selfish and all but that's how it is. Even more irritating, I usually listen to their advice and just nod back (my way of showing approval, "yeah, I hear you"). Most people have the nerve to "insist" their ideas on me (read: shoving them down my throat).

All my life I felt everyone is trying to assert some amount of control over me.Like I said, telling me what to do and what I should be concerned about. Sometimes, even putting words in my mouth (even though I don't have a lot of words to go around with). I really hate that.

I just want someone who listens. I mean, someone who would listen without being judgemental. Someone who wouldn't force an advice when I don't ask for any. I need someone who listens. And people who really "listen" are very hard to find.

Ini adalah tokek.
Beliau sangat femes di pulau ini.
Beliau merupakan penghuni asal(tetap) di kediaman saya.
Beliau gemar mengeluarkan bunyi aneh ketika senja berlabuh dan jauh di tengah malam.
Beliau juga merupakan seorang yang pemalu.
Beliau tidak seperti cicak yang lain
kerana beliau adalah seekor tokek.

home is where the heart is

what really pains is the fact that i find it difficult to adjust myself socially. Its hard for me to be myself here: the part of me who is totally unfit to be a teacher. even more, this is a place where teachers are respected individuals and people know who you are. It wouldnt be smart to start being myself right away.

I have always been away from home for the most part in my life. So, im used to not missing people so much. Yup, you guessed it. Im starting to miss people. I miss the people who I am comfortable with. I miss the people who are more accepting of who I am. I know I should not be judging people but I know the people here are the kind who would not be as accepting. I just know it. Oh well. Time will tell.

but really. I miss the people who mind me goofing, perving, and dicking around. even in their faces. Oh, how i really have to grow up. I had to get out of my comfort zone sooner or later, which is now. but i REALLY hate being what people expect me to be. what they had in their minds how i should be. Oh, how individualistic i am.

for the time being, the best i could do is to be committed in getting the job done. Our lecturer, Mr. Bala, once advised that we avoid going all out in the first few years of teaching. Or we might risk total burnout. true. but like i said before in a previous post, commitment is difficult for me because I am like that of a gypsy. I am never in one place for too long. I have been on the move for the most part of my life. now that my family had settled on a permanent address, I am not always home. And i know i wouldnt be long here.

I have a home to come back to. and this is not home.


p/s: omg, look at the time!

to all,

you have no idea how i miss the old days.

an update: the island

yes, now im teaching on an island. sounds like im making a big deal out of it. probably i am. the island is pretty nice. the seaside is scenic and beautiful. its an hour ferry ride from the mainland, far far towards the ocean (no way you can swim back, smaller boats are in a hell of a ride if the weather's shitty.

the people's nice. the students still have respect for teachers. the principal is stern (really really stern) but he's a nice guy underneath. so, the people, in a nutshell, are okay. I have a lot of complaints but hey, i should learn to count my blessings because some of my friends are having it way way shittier. hell, what proof of a man i have if i cant overcome these challenges.

so, im gonna cut my complaints short. we're having problems regarding getting a place to stay. as of right now we are staying in the principal's home. ooh, staying with the boss. there are some suggested places: one is at reasonable price with 4 rooms but, there is catch, it is haunted. many have tried and left. so, i'll take their word for it: respect the locals and the environment you live in. one is on the seaside. during the monsoon it will be flooded by high rising seawater.

ok, thats it for now. To everyone this may concern, I kinda miss you all and I sometimes love you all.

I got a long day tomorrow. see ya.


p/s: i'll post some pics of the island the next chance i get on FB.

before the jump

Marina Court and Promenade Apartments is a swell place to stay in. The rooms are sweet. the bathrooms are superstandard. Dinner in Promenade. Promenade is not the best in terms of its hotel rooms but the food is legendary across KK. We are totally spoiled.

..............

I've read of situations like this in a book once. A regiment of 101st Airborne troopers was fed spaghetti and ice cream the afternoon before they went for a mass jump near St. Mere Eglise for Operation Market Garden. Many, I mean MANY, did not make it through the night jump. Many were mowed down as they land on the ground. Some even died before they hit the ground. Some did not even make it out of the plane.

Analogies. I hope where they're sendng me is not half as bad as I worry them to be.

so thats it?

last nite, there was noise (probably laughter) next door.

today, there was none.

The silence was not eerie. it was rather solemn.

in the entire top floor, there is only me now.

it feels odd. It feels like a loss.

I'm all (always) come and go but this is odd.

It feels like loss.

so thats it?

yeah, i guess this is it. and i think its my turn to go.

verbatim: facebook irony

social network sites such as facebook, friendster, myspace and etc. are meant to bring/connect people together - some use that as their slogan.

An article from The Escapist reveals a recent study, almost 25 percent of facebook users have been dumped through the site. Most of them did not realize they were being dumped until they read a status update.

the M.O.: Change your status to "single", never return calls, wall posts and private messages. and wait.

You can read the rest here.

For those of you who had the privilege of having a person-to-person breakup/rejection, this should make you feel good considering that the other person still has the respect/guts give the news to your sorry face.

"Facebook can be a wonderful tool to manipulate a person's image for dating purposes as well as providing an easy way out when it comes to doing the dirty work." - Clifford Lerner

Recipe to something

Here's a great recipe I learned. It called the recipe to Something:

(Nothing) + You + You doing something about it = something.

I hope it helps all you people out there.

ize of the world

An egg to fertilize,
A pulse to stabilize,
A body to deodorize,
A life to scrutinize,
A child to criticize,
Young adults
to modernize,
Citizens to terrorize,
Generations to desensitize.

A desk to organize,
A product to advertise,
A market to monopolize,
Movie stars to idolize,
Leaders to scandalize,
Enemies to neutralize,
No time to apologize,
Fury to tranquilize,
Weapons to synchronize,
Cities to
vaporize.

-The Strokes, Ize of the world

limbo

Its Wednesday already? It feels like Wednesday was just yesterday.

Waiting. I wonder how many of us enjoy waiting? Sometimes I do, for starters. Right now, it feels like I am in a limbo. Waiting really discourages from taking any commitment, let alone do anything worthwhile. I was thinking of taking a part-time but I just don’t have the network to find me one that fits the time frame I have at the moment. Well, that’s just an excuse for someone who’s too lazy to go out there and be found. Or do anything to be exact. the set of skills we have can’t be put to good use if you don’t have the connections who need them.

Every semester break feels like walking in a limbo. I just can’t get myself to do anything worthwhile, rather than just indulging in favourite hobbies and pastimes. I think its this “waiting” thing. Like I said earlier, waiting discourages me from committing to anything. Maybe I’m just committed to this “waiting” thing. Or may be it’s the anticipation that the wait will be over (whether I want it or not). A new semester comes after every semester break. A new set of things to do. To accomplish. To endure. But now, there won’t be a new semester (except when I start teaching). But it still isn’t closure. I want to say I have graduated but the status still is certified and official (convocation, I guess?). Hmmm….closure? That’s a big word. Closure.

Closure? Its funny how we spent most of our lives looking for a closure, or make one. Does closure means ending? C’est finis? Speaking of language, closure does not necessarily imply ending. More accurately, I think it means “to close an opening”. To finish what we started. Hmm….I think it does shows that a closure is an ending. Like, is graduation a closure to our 6-year crusade? Crusade is a big word and it does sound like I’m exaggerating. Our quest for good grades, recognition and accomplishments. I don’t think there is such a thing as true closure (except for Judgment Day, that is). Everything that happens in the so called “end” are merely a transition. Even closure is a transition.

The end of a 6-year course is by no means an end. It is just a transition. This limbo I’m experiencing is probably a phase in that “transition”. This is me moving from being a student to a graduate. And then to a practitioner. Or a post-graduate. Or a parent. Or anything I’m trained (or not) to do. This is me moving towards something bigger. This is us preparing for roles and responsibilities. This is us being involved in matters of real importance.

So, closure is by no means the end. It may be the end of something, of course. This is where the over-used quote “the end is just the beginning” falls into place. And then, life moves on.

Another week and I’ll be back to do things. Important things. The only demotivating part of the teaching profession are the things

“Love is like a wonderfruit. One bite will have tens of flavours and sensations spreading across your senses. Sometimes it happens so fast you can’t tell in what order the come into you. Sometimes it happens simultaneously, making you think it’s all in one big flavour. I don’t know if there was ever such a fruit.”

Pedo-bear Platinum Sign of Approval

Who to blame? this poll gives you a list with who to start with.
(click to enlarge)

A bunch of skimpy dressed 7 years old dancing to Single Ladies is causing an uproar at the Escapist. Read the forum here. What do you think? Some may not see this as a problem. I am neutral at the moment of typing.

This the aforementioned video:

"Its just you and me. And nobody has to know"

quick update

so, a lot have been going on in the last few weeks. I can't decide on a decent topic to blog about. Did I mention that I had an awesome vacation? Yeah, I had awesome vacation with friends. In our farewell dinner, I was voted as "The Committed One" (whatever that means, I got a plaque to go with that). I think I am rather committed in being a total arse.

If I had to summarize what happened this post-semester, it would go something like this: a lot happened, a few didn't happen and a lot are going to happen. Is it possible to not hope but still look forward to something? I think I can make things right this time but a lot effort is in order. The best laid plans are meant to be ruined.

I just have to look forward to it, right now.