when you're used to being healthy all year long, a simple fever can bring all sorts of pain and suffering.
we fear death. as evident in a recurring dream, where a small bonfire is like an oasis in a cold snowy field. it gets further as i walk towards the warmth. like a mirage. the bonechilling cold never subsides. nothing i do makes it go away.
december. I am reduced to a penniless hobo trying to make little go a long way. a little can go a long way.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
remember that word people say to be the longest word in English? that supercalifra-something-something? tongue-twisting.
I can't actually remember the name of the movie which introduced the word but I'm guessing it must have something to do with Mary Poppins.
While I was browsing the Net in search of famous internet memes, for personal research purposes (y'know memes like "all your base are belong to us", "O RLY?" and things like that), I found this.
I know what most of you might think before you even want to click that PLAY button: "This is another one of those internet remixes, which will be silly and I don't to waste 3 minutes 11 seconds of life as I have wasted the last 4 minutes visiting this blog". It might not be up to the tastes of most people but let me assure you that. I find this remix very....very....i don't know the word for it. "Good", probably. "Surprisingly catchy", yes. It has that feel of a Euro-Pop mix. Kinda like one of those Euro trance music those guys in Europe make.
If you like it, the author have generously provided a link to a free download of the mp3, here.
Or directly, here
I can't actually remember the name of the movie which introduced the word but I'm guessing it must have something to do with Mary Poppins.
While I was browsing the Net in search of famous internet memes, for personal research purposes (y'know memes like "all your base are belong to us", "O RLY?" and things like that), I found this.
I know what most of you might think before you even want to click that PLAY button: "This is another one of those internet remixes, which will be silly and I don't to waste 3 minutes 11 seconds of life as I have wasted the last 4 minutes visiting this blog". It might not be up to the tastes of most people but let me assure you that. I find this remix very....very....i don't know the word for it. "Good", probably. "Surprisingly catchy", yes. It has that feel of a Euro-Pop mix. Kinda like one of those Euro trance music those guys in Europe make.
If you like it, the author have generously provided a link to a free download of the mp3, here.
Or directly, here
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
death toll
the heat of H1N1 seems to have died down a bit. I think the whole nation was pretty terrified by then. A strain of flu capable of transmitting through physical contact. I think the people responsible did a great job keeping the flu from blowing out into epidemic proportions.
However, there are things more terrifying than a strain of animal flu: the road. So far, there are only 77 fatalities recorded for H1N1 within a period of almost a year after it struck. I admit 77 is a big number, I'll give you that. In the recent Ops Sikap conducted during the Raya season, death has reached up to 210 deaths - within 2-3 weeks. This number easily overshadows the H1N1 death toll.
H1N1 suggests a death rate of 6.41 people every month - scary number!
Get this: this means that death rate on the road during Ops Sikap (2-3 weeks) is 70 people per week, 10 people daily. Which is really terrifying. H1N1's death toll has been made insignificant in comparison.
H1N1 is fatal to those who belong in the high risk population: children, seniors, pregnant women, diabetics, low immunities and those who have serious ilnesses. Other than that, your chances of hitting it are close to none. what about roadkill? Just about anyone has a chance - as long as you're on a road or a highway. Sometimes, it doesn't matter whether you are a careful driver or not. Some accidents happen because of someone else's recklessness.
What bothers the most is not many realize the danger they are going through while on the road. Some people fail to realize the amount of carnage that is bound to happen when two tonnes of steel collide. there are opinions that suggests that the disturbing death rate roots from our attitude on the road. I have no objections there. Some attribute the quality of vehicles (especially local brands, lacking safety features and such) and poor maintenance of the vehicle itself. All the opinions points out that ignorance is the leading cause of death. I wouldn't argue with that.
Some might say that death is fate and there is nothing we could do to stop them. I beg to differ. Yes, I know when its "time", its "time". No stopping that, I believe. I believe that we can decide how we would like to "go". I mean, if not then how did the phrase "mati dalam kekufuran/keimanan" exist in the first place? it clearly shows that some parts of fate can be changed, even death. death is inevitable. but how do we "go" is something we can change.
If the time should ever come, let it be because of fate. Not of ignorance.
Ignorance should be considered as a natural cause of things to happen, like fire and stuff. Because it comes naturally.
However, there are things more terrifying than a strain of animal flu: the road. So far, there are only 77 fatalities recorded for H1N1 within a period of almost a year after it struck. I admit 77 is a big number, I'll give you that. In the recent Ops Sikap conducted during the Raya season, death has reached up to 210 deaths - within 2-3 weeks. This number easily overshadows the H1N1 death toll.
H1N1 suggests a death rate of 6.41 people every month - scary number!
Get this: this means that death rate on the road during Ops Sikap (2-3 weeks) is 70 people per week, 10 people daily. Which is really terrifying. H1N1's death toll has been made insignificant in comparison.
H1N1 is fatal to those who belong in the high risk population: children, seniors, pregnant women, diabetics, low immunities and those who have serious ilnesses. Other than that, your chances of hitting it are close to none. what about roadkill? Just about anyone has a chance - as long as you're on a road or a highway. Sometimes, it doesn't matter whether you are a careful driver or not. Some accidents happen because of someone else's recklessness.
What bothers the most is not many realize the danger they are going through while on the road. Some people fail to realize the amount of carnage that is bound to happen when two tonnes of steel collide. there are opinions that suggests that the disturbing death rate roots from our attitude on the road. I have no objections there. Some attribute the quality of vehicles (especially local brands, lacking safety features and such) and poor maintenance of the vehicle itself. All the opinions points out that ignorance is the leading cause of death. I wouldn't argue with that.
Some might say that death is fate and there is nothing we could do to stop them. I beg to differ. Yes, I know when its "time", its "time". No stopping that, I believe. I believe that we can decide how we would like to "go". I mean, if not then how did the phrase "mati dalam kekufuran/keimanan" exist in the first place? it clearly shows that some parts of fate can be changed, even death. death is inevitable. but how do we "go" is something we can change.
If the time should ever come, let it be because of fate. Not of ignorance.
Ignorance should be considered as a natural cause of things to happen, like fire and stuff. Because it comes naturally.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Gamer discussion: FPSes and some comments on REALISM. And also FANBOYISM.
hi. Im pretty simultaneously busy and lazy to write anything thoughtful or useful to anyone or myself lately. So...lately, I have a crush on just about every cute girl i meet.
nah, im just playing with you. I can guess that hook didn't work too well.
Between this year and next year, there's going to be a number of great games I'm really looking forward to. Most of them are FPSes (first person shooters). Let me tell you: teasers, trailers and live demos are great marketing strategies. It helps to keep the consumer base salivating and wondering about whats more to the product. The mind would be playing simulations of what fun gaming possibilities are possible based on what they have seen and that fuels the curiousity and desire to obtain the specific product. There's going to a lot of competition next year for game companies.
Theories aside, whenever I watch videos or read of communities sites I can't help but notice user are badmouthing each other because of several differences that didn't really matter at all. For example, which platform (XBOX360, PS3, PC and stuff like that) is better? It doesn't really matter if yours is the best. I guess the reason people keep flaming other platform users while trying to prove their point is that deep down inside they felt disappointed that they are stuck to playing on the same platform. They lack opportunities to explore other platforms and see what others are talking about.
My point is: if you really think a particular platform is better, please try to avoid condemning (do the words fit? thats like 3 verbs in a row) others. Yes, I understand your enthusiasm trying to convert others into joining your beloved platform. But these people might just be like you. Most people can't afford to enjoy more than one platform. I mean, I couldn't and probably won't have enough financial stability to do so for years to come. Its at least fair to let us enjoy what we have. I think its ok if we could try to politely convince (again: verbs 3 in a row) others if the current platform is just pure marketing bullshit and people are getting their money stolen under their noses.
i could go on and on but lets move on to: REALISM.
Another major topic discussed by gamers everywhere. Realism in graphics: realistic graphics seems to be a major appeal for most gamers (or people who think they are gamers. Well, I'll discuss on what is a real gamer and types of gamers in another post). there are occasions where some of my friends saw me playing classic vintages I've grabbed from abandonware (google it) or bootleg game sites (I'm still buying originals, though. If wallet permits - another topic to consider: Piracy. Later posts i guess). They were disgusted and appalled at the sight of me playing them. y'know games like metroid, doom 2, planescape torment and warcraft 2. They said: "Eww, the graphics are ugly" or "Buruk juga dia pny grafik".
"Yeah, if you notice, these games date back to the 80's and 90's. I guess you weren't a gamer back then" i thought. i became a gamer somewhere in the 90's (how that came to be is a slightly interesting story - save that for later posts). I understand that visual and audio appeal are important but i doesn't translate to real value. Shooting the same stuff and walk through the same artistically and beautifully designed landscape can get dry real quick.
Let's see the realism aspect of gameplay. Most gamers whine how unrealistic games can be. Like, how you run, jump while gunning and still hit a target. how you can be revived from a quick zap with a defibrillator. How you can survived a grenade blast. It goes on and on. Let's get the facts straight: when there's a high degree of realism, it is called a simulation game. Face it, simulators are boring if you're not into that shit. they are the least fun for gamers who think of 2D graphics like girls with no "feminine" features (but they still make up with their personality. All the time). If you think realism is they way to go, try playing Armed Assault 2, Operation Flashpoint or America's Army. I might enjoy them because partly maybe I am a military geek.
I'm not sure how many would enjoy playing shooters with no crosshairs, no ammo count, no HUD notification of where a shot is coming from, no health bars, no minimaps, how equipment weight severely affects performance, one hit kill and other stuff that happens in real life. Like weapons malfunctioning when sand and water gets into the bolt mechanism. Then, you would have to play a minigame where you desperately do a takedown on your weapon and clean vital parts - all during a firefight. Like thats possible.
America's Army 3 for example. Your soldiers are bound to the Rules of Engagement, ROE (google that too), which means you cant be shooting every all moving object you could put a round into it. you'll have to identify it as threat. Do they carry weapons? Are the colours hostile? What are the circumstances? Do you have orders to engage? Where is your superior officer in the situation? Are they retreating (according to the Geneva convention, you can't shoot combatants in the back or when they are retreating)? For the average gamer, its all too overwhelming. Face it: most gamers are a shallow bunch. they gawk at hot beach girls with fake titties (ok, well. not all of them).
what I'm trying to say is: most real-life-like games are given unrealistic features because they have been tested by playtesters and proven to provide optimum excitement to players. Or in simple terms: because they are FUN. Face it: You come back home from work to unwind. Real-life involves huge amount of stress. You play games to get away from all of that shit (plus The Sims 3 is an evil game. YOU ARE THE REAL PUPPET). Unrealism can help give players through those "holy shit!" "Ahahah! Whoa that was wicked shit AWESOME!" moments we could remember and retell like a grizzled, bitter war veteran.
Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate realism. It takes real effort for developers to create a game with those minute details of realism. It can be exciting if you are genuinely interested. To me, a game is a product we buy with cold hard cash. It represents the investment and effort made by the hardworking people in a company. It is the fruit of their long brainstorming sessions finding ways to deliver us the excitement not remotely possible in real life. I am often put off by money making ploys of companies trying to make quick bucks. For example, games based on a movie franchise and one of those Chinese MMOs - little production values and the company owners posted in my PCGamer pretending like they know enjoy or give a damn about this whole gaming thing, if you know what I mean.
Finally, my take on realism: games provide you with the right amount of the right stimulus, your brain generates FUN. It doesnt get simpler than that. Im going to talk about political sensitivities in games but I'll save that for later.
And my take on FANBOYISM: well, maybe I won't say more on the matter but I would like comment on game famously known as DOTA. I don't hate the game. its fun. Its exciting. when played with friends. What disgusts the most is when someone plays DOTA a lot starts claiming themselves as hardcore gamers (like "DOTA is the best game ever in the universe" bullshit". Its a mod goddammit. Why Warcraft III didnt get any credit?). These people walk around like they're SO hardcore and start l33t-speaking about how they PWN the game and shit. Yes, your unmatched skill and vast insightful knowledge all the characters and item combo are valuable assets to the gaming community. "Oh, you do play other games? Oh, like what? Bejeweled? Diner Dash? Jojo's Fashion Show? Bejeweled 2?" Oh oh, and probably the only shooter you've played, other than CS, would be a game about a frog shooting colored BALLS out of its mouth which consequently blows up other matching color balls if they are 3 in a row (take a guess what game it is. Haha). I guess I am humbled because these games can't compared to the awesome skill requirement, which you possess, in DOTA.
here's a teaser video, on a game time proven to be fun (I hope):
I like what they did to the audio. the sound effects are awesome and spot on, especially the part during the deafening shellshock. Its been done before but its still awesome. the weapons have a satisfying feedback. multiplayer seems to be very exciting. Definitely something to look forward to.
nah, im just playing with you. I can guess that hook didn't work too well.
Between this year and next year, there's going to be a number of great games I'm really looking forward to. Most of them are FPSes (first person shooters). Let me tell you: teasers, trailers and live demos are great marketing strategies. It helps to keep the consumer base salivating and wondering about whats more to the product. The mind would be playing simulations of what fun gaming possibilities are possible based on what they have seen and that fuels the curiousity and desire to obtain the specific product. There's going to a lot of competition next year for game companies.
Theories aside, whenever I watch videos or read of communities sites I can't help but notice user are badmouthing each other because of several differences that didn't really matter at all. For example, which platform (XBOX360, PS3, PC and stuff like that) is better? It doesn't really matter if yours is the best. I guess the reason people keep flaming other platform users while trying to prove their point is that deep down inside they felt disappointed that they are stuck to playing on the same platform. They lack opportunities to explore other platforms and see what others are talking about.
My point is: if you really think a particular platform is better, please try to avoid condemning (do the words fit? thats like 3 verbs in a row) others. Yes, I understand your enthusiasm trying to convert others into joining your beloved platform. But these people might just be like you. Most people can't afford to enjoy more than one platform. I mean, I couldn't and probably won't have enough financial stability to do so for years to come. Its at least fair to let us enjoy what we have. I think its ok if we could try to politely convince (again: verbs 3 in a row) others if the current platform is just pure marketing bullshit and people are getting their money stolen under their noses.
i could go on and on but lets move on to: REALISM.
Another major topic discussed by gamers everywhere. Realism in graphics: realistic graphics seems to be a major appeal for most gamers (or people who think they are gamers. Well, I'll discuss on what is a real gamer and types of gamers in another post). there are occasions where some of my friends saw me playing classic vintages I've grabbed from abandonware (google it) or bootleg game sites (I'm still buying originals, though. If wallet permits - another topic to consider: Piracy. Later posts i guess). They were disgusted and appalled at the sight of me playing them. y'know games like metroid, doom 2, planescape torment and warcraft 2. They said: "Eww, the graphics are ugly" or "Buruk juga dia pny grafik".
"Yeah, if you notice, these games date back to the 80's and 90's. I guess you weren't a gamer back then" i thought. i became a gamer somewhere in the 90's (how that came to be is a slightly interesting story - save that for later posts). I understand that visual and audio appeal are important but i doesn't translate to real value. Shooting the same stuff and walk through the same artistically and beautifully designed landscape can get dry real quick.
Let's see the realism aspect of gameplay. Most gamers whine how unrealistic games can be. Like, how you run, jump while gunning and still hit a target. how you can be revived from a quick zap with a defibrillator. How you can survived a grenade blast. It goes on and on. Let's get the facts straight: when there's a high degree of realism, it is called a simulation game. Face it, simulators are boring if you're not into that shit. they are the least fun for gamers who think of 2D graphics like girls with no "feminine" features (but they still make up with their personality. All the time). If you think realism is they way to go, try playing Armed Assault 2, Operation Flashpoint or America's Army. I might enjoy them because partly maybe I am a military geek.
I'm not sure how many would enjoy playing shooters with no crosshairs, no ammo count, no HUD notification of where a shot is coming from, no health bars, no minimaps, how equipment weight severely affects performance, one hit kill and other stuff that happens in real life. Like weapons malfunctioning when sand and water gets into the bolt mechanism. Then, you would have to play a minigame where you desperately do a takedown on your weapon and clean vital parts - all during a firefight. Like thats possible.
America's Army 3 for example. Your soldiers are bound to the Rules of Engagement, ROE (google that too), which means you cant be shooting every all moving object you could put a round into it. you'll have to identify it as threat. Do they carry weapons? Are the colours hostile? What are the circumstances? Do you have orders to engage? Where is your superior officer in the situation? Are they retreating (according to the Geneva convention, you can't shoot combatants in the back or when they are retreating)? For the average gamer, its all too overwhelming. Face it: most gamers are a shallow bunch. they gawk at hot beach girls with fake titties (ok, well. not all of them).
what I'm trying to say is: most real-life-like games are given unrealistic features because they have been tested by playtesters and proven to provide optimum excitement to players. Or in simple terms: because they are FUN. Face it: You come back home from work to unwind. Real-life involves huge amount of stress. You play games to get away from all of that shit (plus The Sims 3 is an evil game. YOU ARE THE REAL PUPPET). Unrealism can help give players through those "holy shit!" "Ahahah! Whoa that was wicked shit AWESOME!" moments we could remember and retell like a grizzled, bitter war veteran.
Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate realism. It takes real effort for developers to create a game with those minute details of realism. It can be exciting if you are genuinely interested. To me, a game is a product we buy with cold hard cash. It represents the investment and effort made by the hardworking people in a company. It is the fruit of their long brainstorming sessions finding ways to deliver us the excitement not remotely possible in real life. I am often put off by money making ploys of companies trying to make quick bucks. For example, games based on a movie franchise and one of those Chinese MMOs - little production values and the company owners posted in my PCGamer pretending like they know enjoy or give a damn about this whole gaming thing, if you know what I mean.
Finally, my take on realism: games provide you with the right amount of the right stimulus, your brain generates FUN. It doesnt get simpler than that. Im going to talk about political sensitivities in games but I'll save that for later.
And my take on FANBOYISM: well, maybe I won't say more on the matter but I would like comment on game famously known as DOTA. I don't hate the game. its fun. Its exciting. when played with friends. What disgusts the most is when someone plays DOTA a lot starts claiming themselves as hardcore gamers (like "DOTA is the best game ever in the universe" bullshit". Its a mod goddammit. Why Warcraft III didnt get any credit?). These people walk around like they're SO hardcore and start l33t-speaking about how they PWN the game and shit. Yes, your unmatched skill and vast insightful knowledge all the characters and item combo are valuable assets to the gaming community. "Oh, you do play other games? Oh, like what? Bejeweled? Diner Dash? Jojo's Fashion Show? Bejeweled 2?" Oh oh, and probably the only shooter you've played, other than CS, would be a game about a frog shooting colored BALLS out of its mouth which consequently blows up other matching color balls if they are 3 in a row (take a guess what game it is. Haha). I guess I am humbled because these games can't compared to the awesome skill requirement, which you possess, in DOTA.
here's a teaser video, on a game time proven to be fun (I hope):
I like what they did to the audio. the sound effects are awesome and spot on, especially the part during the deafening shellshock. Its been done before but its still awesome. the weapons have a satisfying feedback. multiplayer seems to be very exciting. Definitely something to look forward to.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
anti-social
"...People are shit. Whenever I'm in a crowd I think "who left this shit all over the place?". I'm shit. You're shit. The world is shit. And if you're sitting there thinking "yes its true. Everybody is shit EXCEPT me"; then you're a double-bacon shit-with-large-fries, mr. shitface...
...Sorry, this reflects badly on me doesn't it? I should've said: Mr. OR Mrs. shitface."
...Sorry, this reflects badly on me doesn't it? I should've said: Mr. OR Mrs. shitface."
-Bill "Yahtzee" Croshaw
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Two clouds and a rainbow
amazingsuperpowers.com
"What do those two clouds look like to you?" "They look like total pricks to me."
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
double kill
The scorpion had the centipede, but someone's treads got the both of them. Then, they were sun-baked to crispiness. Quite close. Quite tragic.*Note: Double kill is actually of a reference from Unreal Tournament 2003 and 2004, FYI to those who play Defense of the Ancients (you mortals call it DotA). All the kill announcements are taken from the same game.
Friday, September 04, 2009
"What comes after one? Two comes after one!"
You'll have to agree with me that this is going to be a potential Hollywood movie. It combines the dark, serious tone of war with comedy elements of its characters. I really hope someone makes a movie out of this.
Can you see the potential?
"So you're suggesting the rainbow sprinkles is the way forward with the donuts?"
And the cinema trailer would go like this:
the backstory
Its just begging to be made a movie.
Can you see the potential?
"So you're suggesting the rainbow sprinkles is the way forward with the donuts?"
And the cinema trailer would go like this:
the backstory
Its just begging to be made a movie.
Wrist-Mounted Flamethrower
You are a liar if you say don't want one. I want one. This is so AWESOME.
I want to mount one on my bike so no one would dare follow me from behind.
I want to mount one on my bike so no one would dare follow me from behind.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
where did sleep gone to?
I embrace the still silence and the cold humid night.
I sway with dizzyness and lethargy.
I play with words in an awkward manner, making mistakes on purpose. Or not.
I am glad I chose headphones over a set of satellite speakers. Late night playlists blaring on 70% and I'm the only one doing the jives.
I love it when the cat curls up in a fetal position on my lap as I struggle to plan my next lesson.
I find it amusing how a simple act of procrastination is capable of such grief and depression.
Yet, I keep repeating them like a dose of nicotine I can't get out of my veins.
Sleep has become irregular. Giving me an excuse to whine to my students about how my eyes are burning. It hurts.
Bad habits die hard. Real hard.
I might go deaf.
I sway with dizzyness and lethargy.
I play with words in an awkward manner, making mistakes on purpose. Or not.
I am glad I chose headphones over a set of satellite speakers. Late night playlists blaring on 70% and I'm the only one doing the jives.
I love it when the cat curls up in a fetal position on my lap as I struggle to plan my next lesson.
I find it amusing how a simple act of procrastination is capable of such grief and depression.
Yet, I keep repeating them like a dose of nicotine I can't get out of my veins.
Sleep has become irregular. Giving me an excuse to whine to my students about how my eyes are burning. It hurts.
Bad habits die hard. Real hard.
I might go deaf.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Do you want to date my avatar?
the super viral hit music video on Youtube, scoring over a quarter million views 6 hours after its release. It features Felicia Day - from Buffy the Vampslayer and other shows. She's currently writing and acting in the webseries, "The Guild". Gotta admit the chorus is pretty catchy
The true geek fantasy.
The true geek fantasy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
good news bad news and stuff
Having to go through a series fortunes and misfortunes can often throw your mind off-balance.
First, I found out that I had a new nickname given to me by the afternoon classes. Unfortunately, I'm not the most I'm the teacher "with the random stories". Come to think of it: I do tell them random stories during relief classes. I began to notice this after I had a long chat at the cafeteria and a student came to me telling me that I'm late for a relief class (?). Yea, so I went la. I was relieving a science teacher. As I came in, they greeted me, and they go:
"Teacher, tell us more random stories. Like last week."
And they'll be staring at me, waiting. I'll be staring outside the window (or the ceiling) for like 5 minutes and then, I abruptly go - "Hey, did you know that......etc etc?" I was a bit flattered when those kids were following me like some cosmetic/massage chair/special offer saleswomen, trying to get me into their class. A lot of teachers were out this week because they had to attend so many workshops and meetings. I should go out do more stuff or read more. I think I'm beginning to run out of stuff to talk about.
On the flipside, my random numbskullery with Dewi and Nurhayati at the cafeteria did cost me a bit of my reputation as a teacher. Some were shaking their heads listening to my idiotic disgusting jokes. They will NEVER see me the same way again. Didn't really matter though. They were from the morning session. Ha, won't be teaching them anyway. I made fun of their names and stuff. Fraternizing with girls, I also found out a secret about some girl named Margaret. So, I was like "yea, that's cool".
Above all, I realized how I was not really behaving like a teacher should. I would have to fix that someday. For the time being, screw it.
Bad news. yea, bad news. Someone broke into my room last nite and stole my phone. And my roomate's phone. And his phone charger. And his new pack of cigarettes. This is going to cause some financial headache. Thankfully that was all he took. I was glad he didn't took my laptop, or worse, my car keys.
Thank god for that.
First, I found out that I had a new nickname given to me by the afternoon classes. Unfortunately, I'm not the most I'm the teacher "with the random stories". Come to think of it: I do tell them random stories during relief classes. I began to notice this after I had a long chat at the cafeteria and a student came to me telling me that I'm late for a relief class (?). Yea, so I went la. I was relieving a science teacher. As I came in, they greeted me, and they go:
"Teacher, tell us more random stories. Like last week."
And they'll be staring at me, waiting. I'll be staring outside the window (or the ceiling) for like 5 minutes and then, I abruptly go - "Hey, did you know that......etc etc?" I was a bit flattered when those kids were following me like some cosmetic/massage chair/special offer saleswomen, trying to get me into their class. A lot of teachers were out this week because they had to attend so many workshops and meetings. I should go out do more stuff or read more. I think I'm beginning to run out of stuff to talk about.
On the flipside, my random numbskullery with Dewi and Nurhayati at the cafeteria did cost me a bit of my reputation as a teacher. Some were shaking their heads listening to my idiotic disgusting jokes. They will NEVER see me the same way again. Didn't really matter though. They were from the morning session. Ha, won't be teaching them anyway. I made fun of their names and stuff. Fraternizing with girls, I also found out a secret about some girl named Margaret. So, I was like "yea, that's cool".
Above all, I realized how I was not really behaving like a teacher should. I would have to fix that someday. For the time being, screw it.
Bad news. yea, bad news. Someone broke into my room last nite and stole my phone. And my roomate's phone. And his phone charger. And his new pack of cigarettes. This is going to cause some financial headache. Thankfully that was all he took. I was glad he didn't took my laptop, or worse, my car keys.
Thank god for that.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Honorable Mentions: Best Photo
This goes to Nur Hanna Hassan @ Kedek, for this awesome photo of me. Her awesome timing with the digital camera has helped made this "probably-the-best-photo-of-me-ever-probably" possible.
This photo somehow gave me the feeling of being a super youth, or something like that.
Whatev's it is, its awesome.
View photo here.
Or the full photo, here.
Friday, August 07, 2009
blue screens and being grateful
Its, like, the umpteenth bajilion times this had happened today. A consequence of my efforts trying to squeeze out every single drop of performance out of the poor machine. Hardware and driver tweaks have lead to incompatibilities and other mishaps - hence the blue terror you see before you. They say you haven't squeezed out every single drop if you haven't used them for less than five years. This machine here has only made it halfway.
Sometimes I wish a kind soul would sent an M17 my way. I'd skip practicum for that to happen.
Nevertheless (or however), I'm still (very) grateful with having this piece with me. It has done me great service. And it can still do awesome things for me; burning awesome music on the awesome CDs, keep important (and not-so-important) stuff, play some wonderful music, good movies and read insightful articles, learn awesome stuff fro Youtube, web surfing - including writing this post rite here. I guess its going to keep serving me for a couple more years. Until its time to do what has to be done.
*kisses the LCD screen*
I'm going to stop squeezing juice out of the machine. For now. It deserves to perform the way it wants to perform.
What are you grateful for today?
Monday, August 03, 2009
How do I deal with this?
I'll admit that I'm desperate for help.
There's this girl in a class I teach. I suspect that she's dyslexic. Sometimes I observe her doing her own work. What I saw: she was doing her geography homework - and she was copying the textbook. Word by word. Everytime I gave these girls some individual work, I noticed her friends are actually the ones doing the writing for her.
It calls for an investigation. I asked her friends about her, but I still haven't asked the teachers. I found out she had trouble reading. She had trouble distinguishing sounds and making sense of spellings. Dyslexic? There is a probability that may be so.
I found out even more beyond her impaired ability to read. It was test week during my first arrival at school. I was assigned to invigilate the Maths and Science test for this particular class. As I was doing my rounds, I noticed her arms. They were riddled with scars. There were some short and thick ones. But most were long thin lines criss-crossing her arms. A friend of hers told me that she had family problems. I was also informed that earlier this year she cut herself on her arms; she explains the reason for the long thin scars which caresses along her arms like a slithering snake making its way up a fair and smooth branch.
She didn't seem depressed. She was smiling a lot. She participated (and interrupted) during my teaching session. Well, she's quiet most of the time. Somehow, the more I look at her the more I saw. In her eyes I saw a quiet struggle. A struggle she took her sweet time fighting. She pushed forward but did not pushed hard. It felt like there's something big on top her - trying to crush her - but she's only holding it off where it only stops inches away from crushing her into singularity.
I have little experience with these kind of troubles. I live a normal happy life; to tell them I can help them would be a tad too difficult. I was also informed that she went in and out of counseling.
What do I do? How do I deal with this?
There's this girl in a class I teach. I suspect that she's dyslexic. Sometimes I observe her doing her own work. What I saw: she was doing her geography homework - and she was copying the textbook. Word by word. Everytime I gave these girls some individual work, I noticed her friends are actually the ones doing the writing for her.
It calls for an investigation. I asked her friends about her, but I still haven't asked the teachers. I found out she had trouble reading. She had trouble distinguishing sounds and making sense of spellings. Dyslexic? There is a probability that may be so.
I found out even more beyond her impaired ability to read. It was test week during my first arrival at school. I was assigned to invigilate the Maths and Science test for this particular class. As I was doing my rounds, I noticed her arms. They were riddled with scars. There were some short and thick ones. But most were long thin lines criss-crossing her arms. A friend of hers told me that she had family problems. I was also informed that earlier this year she cut herself on her arms; she explains the reason for the long thin scars which caresses along her arms like a slithering snake making its way up a fair and smooth branch.
She didn't seem depressed. She was smiling a lot. She participated (and interrupted) during my teaching session. Well, she's quiet most of the time. Somehow, the more I look at her the more I saw. In her eyes I saw a quiet struggle. A struggle she took her sweet time fighting. She pushed forward but did not pushed hard. It felt like there's something big on top her - trying to crush her - but she's only holding it off where it only stops inches away from crushing her into singularity.
I have little experience with these kind of troubles. I live a normal happy life; to tell them I can help them would be a tad too difficult. I was also informed that she went in and out of counseling.
What do I do? How do I deal with this?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday Afternoon
Sundays. I love sundays. I resent them too. Being the last few moments I had to do things I want and I love, and the next to be thrown into life's unrelenting challenges. Its hard to enjoy myself without having to think about those things.
I find this afternoon very ideal. I'm here sitting in front of my desk, behind the screen. Staring emptily into the bright sunlight every few minutes. Look at the beautiful blue and white sunny sky. I think I was just momentarily blinded, by the light.
Complains? I wish the good people here would improve their toilet accuracy, for both liquid and solids.
Other than that, I'm pretty much grateful for everything.
What are you grateful for today?
reflection
yeah.
i was thinking of writing about my school experience but I already have a reflective journal (no, they don't come with reflective surface.) courtesy of the good people from the faculty of education.
I wish I was a cat. I'd sleep 15 hours a day. People will admire me if I had beautiful fur. I'd roll over and spread myself on the floor to get some attention. And I can play with my food before I eat them.
i was thinking of writing about my school experience but I already have a reflective journal (no, they don't come with reflective surface.) courtesy of the good people from the faculty of education.
I wish I was a cat. I'd sleep 15 hours a day. People will admire me if I had beautiful fur. I'd roll over and spread myself on the floor to get some attention. And I can play with my food before I eat them.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Dreamlife Of Rand Mcnally
Two dudes who really love what they do.
Catchy? Try the Ootmarsum Garden Party performance of the song here
Catchy? Try the Ootmarsum Garden Party performance of the song here
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Mind your step please. Please ah.
Its a lesson I've learned so many many times before. Yet, it still happens. damn!
I walked into my first class of the day they were all nice and quite so, with a posture like no other, said:
"OKAY STUDENTS! Before we start, I'd like you clear your table and...."
Then, all of them looked at me. I was like "wah so good. i got their attention and stuff...". one of them raised her hand and said:
"Eh, cikgu..."
"Yes?"
"(half-whispering) kami ujian ni sekarang..."
SETAAAAAAAANNNNNNNn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ujian Setara 2 rupanya. That was very rude of me. Malu nak MAMPOS! Kalau mau, lama sudah aku bergolek-golek di lantai kerana ingin menahan malu tahap blackbelt. Excited punya pasal.
Pengajaran di sini?
"Lain kali tengok jadual betul-betul. Orang putih cakap: read instructions carefully."
I walked into my first class of the day they were all nice and quite so, with a posture like no other, said:
"OKAY STUDENTS! Before we start, I'd like you clear your table and...."
Then, all of them looked at me. I was like "wah so good. i got their attention and stuff...". one of them raised her hand and said:
"Eh, cikgu..."
"Yes?"
"(half-whispering) kami ujian ni sekarang..."
SETAAAAAAAANNNNNNNn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ujian Setara 2 rupanya. That was very rude of me. Malu nak MAMPOS! Kalau mau, lama sudah aku bergolek-golek di lantai kerana ingin menahan malu tahap blackbelt. Excited punya pasal.
Pengajaran di sini?
"Lain kali tengok jadual betul-betul. Orang putih cakap: read instructions carefully."
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Lets take a moment to...
In a few days,
I'll be entering a place where the expectations are high
A place where slobs like me feel so out of place.
A place where I will be tested,
intimidated,
challenged,
pushed,
and
drained.
I'll be the Iceman,
the assertive,
the efficient,
the smiling,
the hardworking
and
the obliging.
The five years spent
bottles up
like a bubbling champagne
waiting to pop
the cork
into the unsuspecting eye.
This is going to be that
EPIC moment
when we will
make or break,
rise and fall.
The nerves? Its there.
Excited? Its only a step forward into the future.
More than excited,
I'm anticipating...
...and stuff right?.
"Remember that fame is nothing but loving someone, and fortune is nothing more than loving what you do".
I'll be entering a place where the expectations are high
A place where slobs like me feel so out of place.
A place where I will be tested,
intimidated,
challenged,
pushed,
and
drained.
I'll be the Iceman,
the assertive,
the efficient,
the smiling,
the hardworking
and
the obliging.
The five years spent
bottles up
like a bubbling champagne
waiting to pop
the cork
into the unsuspecting eye.
This is going to be that
EPIC moment
when we will
make or break,
rise and fall.
The nerves? Its there.
Excited? Its only a step forward into the future.
More than excited,
I'm anticipating...
...and stuff right?.
"Remember that fame is nothing but loving someone, and fortune is nothing more than loving what you do".
- Gypsy MC, Mraz.
Teh millionth word
The English Language has finally declared its one millionth word. "Web 2.0" has received the One Millionth Word honour, beating "Jai Ho", "slumdog" and "noob" off the top spot.. It is also my pleasure to announce that "noob" has finally been accepted as an English word. Look for it in a latest edition dictionary near you.
"Austin, Texas June 10, 2009 – The Global Language Monitor today announced that Web 2.0 has bested Jai Ho, N00b and Slumdog as the 1,000,000th English word or phrase. added to the codex of fourteen hundred-year-old language. Web 2.0 is a technical term meaning the next generation of World Wide Web products and services. It has crossed from technical jargon into far wider circulation in the last six months. Two terms from India, Jai Ho! and slumdog finished No. 2 and 4. Jai Ho! Is a Hindi exclamation signifying victory or accomplishment; Slumdog is an impolite term for children living in the slums. Just missing the top spot was n00b, a mixture of letters and numbers that is a derisive term for newcomer. It is also the only mainstream English word that contains within itself two numerals. Just missing the final five cut-off, was another technical term, cloud computing, meaning services that are delivered via the cloud. At its current rate, English generates about 14.7 words a day or one every 98 minutes."
"Austin, Texas June 10, 2009 – The Global Language Monitor today announced that Web 2.0 has bested Jai Ho, N00b and Slumdog as the 1,000,000th English word or phrase. added to the codex of fourteen hundred-year-old language. Web 2.0 is a technical term meaning the next generation of World Wide Web products and services. It has crossed from technical jargon into far wider circulation in the last six months. Two terms from India, Jai Ho! and slumdog finished No. 2 and 4. Jai Ho! Is a Hindi exclamation signifying victory or accomplishment; Slumdog is an impolite term for children living in the slums. Just missing the top spot was n00b, a mixture of letters and numbers that is a derisive term for newcomer. It is also the only mainstream English word that contains within itself two numerals. Just missing the final five cut-off, was another technical term, cloud computing, meaning services that are delivered via the cloud. At its current rate, English generates about 14.7 words a day or one every 98 minutes."
extract taken from here.
In a related news, "Twitter" did not made Millionth Word race because it was already an English word, in relation to "tweet".
In a related news, "Twitter" did not made Millionth Word race because it was already an English word, in relation to "tweet".
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Damn. We sure complain a lot. Like, a LOT.
The government should avoid feeling proud from spending millions/billions for the people's benefit and we should not kiss their hands for it. It is our right to get what we are supposed to get and it is their duty to serve the people, regardless of which party rules the establishment.
Teachers are government servant. If a client keeps coming back to seek our services, we should never turn them down. It is our duty to serve.
The government should avoid feeling proud from spending millions/billions for the people's benefit and we should not kiss their hands for it. It is our right to get what we are supposed to get and it is their duty to serve the people, regardless of which party rules the establishment.
Teachers are government servant. If a client keeps coming back to seek our services, we should never turn them down. It is our duty to serve.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Looters
Being the early ones back at the boarding quarters here in IPGaya has its perks. You get scavenge vacant rooms for stuff. You'll never what you could find. I found some shoes, a USB fan, a mice, dry food and even a TV! ITs a prosperous country we're living in.
I also found this next door to my room.
Its for keeps. LOL. I mean, WTH?
I also found this next door to my room.
Its for keeps. LOL. I mean, WTH?
Rugi
Mereka yang rugi adalah mereka yang tidak pernah sedar dengan keuntungan yang diperoleh dan dimiliki sepanjang hidup mereka.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
News @ TV3
WAIT. Don't exterminate the pigs. That doesnt sound like a good idea.
If they do, prices for poultry will rocket skyhigh. And that aint good. You dont want that. Imagine KFC snack plate at RM15-18 per serving.
Imagine more.
If they do, prices for poultry will rocket skyhigh. And that aint good. You dont want that. Imagine KFC snack plate at RM15-18 per serving.
Imagine more.
health related paranoia
H1N1 is all over the news. Like, everyday. Schools in Klang are closed. There's an increase in local transmission cases. Times like this, you just can't take chances.
I have been coughing for more than a month now. Even before I left Shah Alam. Worried, I went for a check-up. Well, two check-ups, exactly. the first doctor told me it was allergy I opted for an antibiotic shot. Problem not solved. The second doctor revealed that my tonsil was riddled with scars from previous infections and was surprised to why I haven't been operated to remove the dangling lump of skin. The truth, that wasn't the problem. The cough was caused by something inside the nasal cavity. Whew. That's reassuring.
Fears aside, the ministry is planning their move in this English campaign thing. More hours dedicated to the subject (extended teaching hours to teachers, something like that) and considerations to hire foreign teachers. Can this be good? We'll just have to wait and see.
Also, MJ has recently passed away. Frankly, he's hugely misunderstood. Poor dude.
I have been coughing for more than a month now. Even before I left Shah Alam. Worried, I went for a check-up. Well, two check-ups, exactly. the first doctor told me it was allergy I opted for an antibiotic shot. Problem not solved. The second doctor revealed that my tonsil was riddled with scars from previous infections and was surprised to why I haven't been operated to remove the dangling lump of skin. The truth, that wasn't the problem. The cough was caused by something inside the nasal cavity. Whew. That's reassuring.
Fears aside, the ministry is planning their move in this English campaign thing. More hours dedicated to the subject (extended teaching hours to teachers, something like that) and considerations to hire foreign teachers. Can this be good? We'll just have to wait and see.
Also, MJ has recently passed away. Frankly, he's hugely misunderstood. Poor dude.
Almost
While I was standing outside my late grandfather's house. Didn't see it coming and it almost had me. Like, really really close to sticking it into me. My dad came to neutralize the situations. He said that this was larger than what he often saw in the area.
Might seem cruel, because he renders it uncapable of performing survival tasks, my dad deems it necessary.
Might seem cruel, because he renders it uncapable of performing survival tasks, my dad deems it necessary.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Down range
An improvised target. Air rifle, using .177 (4.5 mm) pellets. rifle not mine. Single pump action (chamber single pellet, pump for optimum pressure, lock, aim and fire. Entire action will take less than 20 secs if you're good enough.
Shots like these doesn't mean you suck. It just means you're consistent and accurate, if not precise. Everytime you load and pump, you leave your sights and then you just had to realign your eye to the iron sights. Those sights needs some tweaking.
Here's me attempting to do a Nut'n'fancy review, and i sucked. Nut'n'fancy did some excellent civilian tactical firearm reviews. Visit (and subscribe) his youtube channel here
Generation Kill is showing on Cinemax. I'm gonna wait for the full DVD set by the end of the season.
an update
Been offline for a few weeks there. Figure I was busy this holiday. So much for my holiday plans. A lot has been going on ever since I arrived home. I barely forgot what I wanted to do on my holiday. At least, before I go for my practicum this July.
Let's see. I'm caught with my home "duties" (chores, but I prefer to call that way). Had to eliminate weaver ants colonies (a post on that later).Working my late grandfather's house, got a close call with a scorpion (also later with that). Weddings. Family issues, some of my relatives are idiots and I'm not kidding about that one. And a bigger issue, imagine finding out one of your close relatives have been arrested because he was suspected to be the ringleader of an illegal syndicate (they're all illegal, right?) for, let's say, grand motorcycle theft. And I'm just saying. Plus, i'm seriously low on money and I can't get a job because I havent and didnt look for any.
The more reason to just keep myself locked in my room.
Here's a video of a wedding of a relative whom I've never met my entire life (surprising he knew me). Its like going to a cultural dance show. It reminds me that I belong to an ethnic group. Honestly, I thought I don't belong to any. I started to think that I'm ethnicless....I'd love that.
Btw, the theme colour of night was Blue. Even the colour of drinks was blue.
Let's see. I'm caught with my home "duties" (chores, but I prefer to call that way). Had to eliminate weaver ants colonies (a post on that later).Working my late grandfather's house, got a close call with a scorpion (also later with that). Weddings. Family issues, some of my relatives are idiots and I'm not kidding about that one. And a bigger issue, imagine finding out one of your close relatives have been arrested because he was suspected to be the ringleader of an illegal syndicate (they're all illegal, right?) for, let's say, grand motorcycle theft. And I'm just saying. Plus, i'm seriously low on money and I can't get a job because I havent and didnt look for any.
The more reason to just keep myself locked in my room.
Here's a video of a wedding of a relative whom I've never met my entire life (surprising he knew me). Its like going to a cultural dance show. It reminds me that I belong to an ethnic group. Honestly, I thought I don't belong to any. I started to think that I'm ethnicless....I'd love that.
Btw, the theme colour of night was Blue. Even the colour of drinks was blue.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Brick wall
It is an entry I'd find best written in pen and paper - a habit long forgotten - rather than being lost among the insignificant masses of codes in the digital medium.
"Brick walls are there to stop you. Brick walls are there to stop other people. Brick walls are there to stop people who are not sure of what they want. Brick walls are there to stop those who don't want it badly enough"
- Randy Pausch
Often in our adventures through life we came upon these brick walls. These walls can be made of paper, or bricks, most of the time. We scale. We smash, if we're strong and reckless enough. We stayed, put some colours on them, draw something, then walk away. Or we simply leave and find another way around.
As life progresses, we became more adept in dealing with these walls. Like I did in my academic life. However, some walls will always stop you dead in tracks. Regardless of how many times you've been through the same it will always catch you unprepared and no matter how prepared you are it will always get around you. But smashing them is not always the case. They are there for a reason.
Not long ago, I came upon one of the most formidable brick wall I've yet to come across in my life. The formidable wall was around five feet, five inches tall, very special and absolutely beautiful. The brick wall did good stopping me in my tracks. But, as I came upon it, it reduced me to rubble, made me reevaluate my entire life and led me, in a helpless fit, searching for guidance on how to scale it. Again I was feeling like a little boy. I was lost in my own thoughts. Lost in all the questions I was asking myself. It felt like everything was reset. All of a sudden, I don't know what it was all over again. What am I supposed to do?
I admit I was scared. Not scared of what had happened. Not of what will happen but, rather, I was scared because I did not know what to do. Fear is actually not knowing what to do once something happens. It is the unknown that gets to you. Again, the wall was about five feet five inches tall, exceptionally unique and absolutely beautiful. As it progresses, I began to think (I'm not really a big fan of thinking), thinking of a lot of things. I began thinking what my life would be in five years time. I began thinking about the things I haven't done. I began thinking about what I have been doing all my life. I thought about how and where I am now are going lead me in the course 5 years. What was I really looking for? A long list of the things I should be doing flashed right in front of me.
It was a short period of time which proved to be overwhelming. Although sad, I'm glad it went down in a good way. I finally realized what this was all about. It was not mostly about fear of events repeating themselves. It was mostly about regrets. Not regrets for the things I did. It was regret of the things I never did. Turns out I have one big regret: being inarticulate. I spoke in fragments. I hate myself for being inarticulate right up to the big moment when I really to say things. I might have said the things I wished to say, or not, but I bet it wouldn't go out the way how I wanted to say them. Why couldn't I communicate when I depended on it the most?
I know I might have caused trouble. I did what I thought I had to do. If you had found something you have been looking for but you had never thought possible, would you let it slip away? I couldn't. I saw something I had never thought possible in a person. A paradox. A human paradox. You cannot afford to be scared. You have to muster every ounce of courage out of your pathetic self so would never have to wonder what could have been.
The wall taught me a lot of things (not directly, mostly, but just knowing the wall). Like, the things I could do a lot of things only if I am willing to learn. Seriously, I never thought of picking up a music instrument. I feel bolder. Bold to do things I wouldn't normally do. Its one of those rare moments when I thought about something and decided to go through all the way. Above all, I learned that the room only stays dark if you keep the light from coming in.
....everything I say seems redundant. I'm lost for words. I keep talking about myself. How selfish.
Sad? Yes. It saddens me greatly
Hurt? Yes. One way or another, it cannot be avoided. I knew the risks and what is coming to me. I took it. I knew the risks from the very beginning.
Upset? No. For it was a great episode that made life seem interesting.
Are we friends?. I don't think I could because I am already in too deep. Honestly, I never approached you as one. And I don't think I could. Maybe for now.
I apologize for the mess I made and for other wrongs I did.
I still have a lot to say. Even the things I don't have to.
"If you were me, I am like you". I understood. I pray that it will work out for you, even it is ironic and very contradictory.
I'm being redundant again. Its time to let the heart call it a day.
...honestly, I never counted them. I just picked them out.
Hurt? Yes. One way or another, it cannot be avoided. I knew the risks and what is coming to me. I took it. I knew the risks from the very beginning.
Upset? No. For it was a great episode that made life seem interesting.
Are we friends?. I don't think I could because I am already in too deep. Honestly, I never approached you as one. And I don't think I could. Maybe for now.
I apologize for the mess I made and for other wrongs I did.
I still have a lot to say. Even the things I don't have to.
"If you were me, I am like you". I understood. I pray that it will work out for you, even it is ironic and very contradictory.
I'm being redundant again. Its time to let the heart call it a day.
...honestly, I never counted them. I just picked them out.Thursday, May 14, 2009
mat saleh
Talk about christian missionaries, I remember a joke my dad told me. He said it was based on a real life event in the past.
He and a friend was in a crowded lift in some hotel. On the 5th floor, the lift stopped and a big foreigner (Western, of course) with a luggage bag made his way into the lift. At the same time, an annoyed patron blurted out, casually:
"Babi betul la omputeh ni".
He didn't say it out loud but people can still hear him - thinking that the foreigner would not have the slightest idea. When they reached ground floor, suddenly they heard someone say:
"Tepi tepi babi nak lalu."
Turns out it was the foreigner who said that. How embarrassing.
He and a friend was in a crowded lift in some hotel. On the 5th floor, the lift stopped and a big foreigner (Western, of course) with a luggage bag made his way into the lift. At the same time, an annoyed patron blurted out, casually:
"Babi betul la omputeh ni".
He didn't say it out loud but people can still hear him - thinking that the foreigner would not have the slightest idea. When they reached ground floor, suddenly they heard someone say:
"Tepi tepi babi nak lalu."
Turns out it was the foreigner who said that. How embarrassing.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
good news bad news screw this
Got word from our good ol' trusty Cohort 3 insider, Aimi, regarding details of our upcoming practicum. Word has it that I will be teaching in SM Convent St. Francis KK. Which is good news. First, it happens to be very close to IPGaya. I could walk there or get myself a bicycle and a raincoat, just in case. I probably don't have to borrow my mom's car, saves me a lot of trouble. Second, I could apply for the hostel in IPG. So, I have a place to stay. For RM 90 a month. Third, its an ALL-GIRL school. Yay!.....im not sure if this is good news or bad news. We'll see how this turns out. And my designated partner is of course Mdm. Khairiah Tadin - meaning that I can't fool around next semester with a big sister watching over me *sigh*. But that's a +1 in the team factor. YAY!!!
However, based on the approved calendar, our pre-practicum will start on 6th July and practicum commences on the 13th - a month later than the guys at Shah Alam will be going. So, lessee, I have another month to spare. Gosh, I think I should start working. Y'know, for money. Getting paid to do something. I've been giving people tech support for free all this time because I think I don't have the necessary qualifications and because of the average 60 percent success rate of my services. I'll think of something. Or I'll put my semi-awesome language skills to good use. Probably.
On a side note, I think I'm trouble. Not really the deep shit kinda stuff. We should avoid getting into trouble, but then again, you'd ask "why not?". I should start listening to people more - given that I'm a bad listener. A stubborn lil' prick I am. So, I think I'm gonna laugh this one off my mind. It was on basis of spontaneity. I should celebrate for being so free-spirited. WTH.
Internet connection is acting like biscuits and is it me? Or this house is turning into a sauna?
I hate sweating in bed. It leaves those organic salt residue on your pillows and bedsheet., like the one you get when you salivate profusely in your sleep. I'm a malaysian but I never got used to the warm all-year long summer climate.
However, based on the approved calendar, our pre-practicum will start on 6th July and practicum commences on the 13th - a month later than the guys at Shah Alam will be going. So, lessee, I have another month to spare. Gosh, I think I should start working. Y'know, for money. Getting paid to do something. I've been giving people tech support for free all this time because I think I don't have the necessary qualifications and because of the average 60 percent success rate of my services. I'll think of something. Or I'll put my semi-awesome language skills to good use. Probably.
On a side note, I think I'm trouble. Not really the deep shit kinda stuff. We should avoid getting into trouble, but then again, you'd ask "why not?". I should start listening to people more - given that I'm a bad listener. A stubborn lil' prick I am. So, I think I'm gonna laugh this one off my mind. It was on basis of spontaneity. I should celebrate for being so free-spirited. WTH.
Internet connection is acting like biscuits and is it me? Or this house is turning into a sauna?
I hate sweating in bed. It leaves those organic salt residue on your pillows and bedsheet., like the one you get when you salivate profusely in your sleep. I'm a malaysian but I never got used to the warm all-year long summer climate.
"My entire life seems to have been dedicated to searching for the ultimate simplicity. So far, all I have is this kind of elegant messiness. I have a deep feeling that the overall picture would not be as beautiful as it seems. So....WTH."
- Zen, 2008
- Zen, 2008
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Old times
Insatiable by Darren Hayes.
For old times sake, I've uploaded the song on the sidebar. It reminds me a lot of being in school. Used to sing this when we took our baths around the water tank behind the school hall. If I'm not mistaken, Avril had her famous debut with Skaterboy at that time.
It was pathetic trying to sing this because I was an octave short but I sang anyway. Hey, it was "bath time". You just had to sing.
For old times sake, I've uploaded the song on the sidebar. It reminds me a lot of being in school. Used to sing this when we took our baths around the water tank behind the school hall. If I'm not mistaken, Avril had her famous debut with Skaterboy at that time.
It was pathetic trying to sing this because I was an octave short but I sang anyway. Hey, it was "bath time". You just had to sing.
Monday, May 04, 2009
video log
Me and the guys when there's not much to do in the middle of the night.
(This is a test video.)
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Its amazing how small differences between body temperature and environment temperature can affect one's overall health. And the discomfort it causes - the coughing, the flu, the fever or just the headache - can be very disorienting and demoralizing.
Yet, its even amazing how the consistent intake of fluids can be an effective remedy (if not instant acting) to some ailments.
Maybe its the season.
Yet, its even amazing how the consistent intake of fluids can be an effective remedy (if not instant acting) to some ailments.
Maybe its the season.
Monday, April 27, 2009
A day out: I'm a geek
First off, girls wouldn't probably be interested with the things I am about to type about. but you're still welcome to read. If you don't belong in the stereotype, I'd applause you for your open-mindedness (WTH am I saying?)
Went to the big city for a breather recently. Looked for some shoes and did some window shopping. Mostly on things I could not afford. It turns out that I'm still blown away at how much some high-end product costs. For example, take a look at this humble looking keyboard with the simplistic design:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Steelseries 7G. Gaming keyboard.
Looks pretty much like your run-of-the-mill keyboard right? Guess what: this keyboard is going to set you back around RM 700. I can't believe it myself. The spec boasts 18 K GOLD(!)-plated connectors, for quick response input, no-click mechanical keys, 50 million keystrokes lifetime and "anti-ghosting" - which means you can press as many keys available on the board simultaneously (conventional keyboards only allow 4-6 keys). I know that regular people, like you...or me, find that RM 700 does not make any effing sense whatsoever but there are enthusiasts willing to get these shiznits. People will never guess the price of the things and they would rather not touch it if they do.
Steelseries Ikari 4G mouse
Grado GS1000
Went to the big city for a breather recently. Looked for some shoes and did some window shopping. Mostly on things I could not afford. It turns out that I'm still blown away at how much some high-end product costs. For example, take a look at this humble looking keyboard with the simplistic design:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Steelseries 7G. Gaming keyboard.
Looks pretty much like your run-of-the-mill keyboard right? Guess what: this keyboard is going to set you back around RM 700. I can't believe it myself. The spec boasts 18 K GOLD(!)-plated connectors, for quick response input, no-click mechanical keys, 50 million keystrokes lifetime and "anti-ghosting" - which means you can press as many keys available on the board simultaneously (conventional keyboards only allow 4-6 keys). I know that regular people, like you...or me, find that RM 700 does not make any effing sense whatsoever but there are enthusiasts willing to get these shiznits. People will never guess the price of the things and they would rather not touch it if they do.
Steelseries Ikari 4G mouse
This little mice here is another one of those gadgets with a mind-blowing price. Any mice boasting 4Gs means that they are capable of operating up to 4000 dpi (worth of sensitivity). How fast is that? Imagine: that regular mice you bought for below RM 50 (or the mice used in the INTEC library) is operating around 800 (1200 at most) dpi. Not recommended for those who use their PC's and laptops for performing regular tasks. Y'know: facebooking, blogging and that casual Popcap/Reflexive Arcade/Playmore game you're playing. You'll have a hard time tracking your cursor. So, how much will it set you back? Around RM 400+.
Razer Megalodon
Razer MegalodonAnother product in the Razer gaming-grade-for-the-connoiseur lineup. Comfortable design with SUPERHUGE earcups. You'll be wearing this thing for hours. Superb noice cancelling mic. The main highlight: its audio processing unit (that box-thing connected to its cord). It is a master volume control for front, side and back speakers - also controls bass levels, mic-sensitivity and other stuff. Sounds a mouthful isn't it? Did I mention that this headset boasts 7.1 audio? Its going to sound like there are 7 speakers surrounding your head. Positional audio. This one is going to set you back for RM 400+.
Even, if you're not a gamer (or geek), I'd recommend you get this one if you have the money. Good all-round audio (music and movies), not to mention supercomfortable. It won't squeeze your head and your ears would hardly sweat even after hours. But if it still looks geeky for you, try this one instead:
Even, if you're not a gamer (or geek), I'd recommend you get this one if you have the money. Good all-round audio (music and movies), not to mention supercomfortable. It won't squeeze your head and your ears would hardly sweat even after hours. But if it still looks geeky for you, try this one instead:
Grado GS1000
In case you didn't know, this (Grado's) is one the world's best in headphones. These things are handcrafted. Notice the drums are made of wood? It is. Its one the main features contributing to its holy audio quality. Its mahogany. The company have been making these things for 50 years. It may lack that fashionista look but you're looking at a world's best. So far, I haven't done much research on the company and its products. In addition, I have yet to see one of these things in local audio stores.
Thats all for now.
Thats all for now.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Fillers
Until I find something better to do or write, this video will do. O yea, some of the guys took us out for some game of pool in SS 15. Only empty times like these we could live the young life. We got back home around 4.30 a.m. Not much of a night life. Just an innocent night out.
So...until then.
Iron Stomach Challenge LIVES!!!!
the caption says: "Mayonnaise LOOKS kind of yogurt. That counts, right?"
So...until then.
Iron Stomach Challenge LIVES!!!!
the caption says: "Mayonnaise LOOKS kind of yogurt. That counts, right?"
Brick wall
It is an entry I'd find best written in pen and paper - a habit long forgotten - rather than being lost among the insignificant masses of codes in the digital medium.
"Brick walls are there to stop you. Brick walls are there to stop other people. Brick walls are there to stop people who are not sure of what they want. Brick walls are there to stop those who don't want it badly enough"
- Randy Pausch
Often in our adventures through life we came upon these brick walls. These walls can be made of paper, or bricks, most of the time. We scale. We smash, if we're strong and reckless enough. We stayed, put some colours on them, draw something, then walk away. Or we simply leave and find another way around.
As life progresses, we became more adept in dealing with these walls. Like I did in my academic life. However, some walls will always stop you dead in tracks. Regardless of how many times you've been through the same it will always catch you unprepared and no matter how prepared you are it will always get around you. But smashing them is not always the case. They are there for a reason.
Not long ago, I came upon one of the most formidable brick wall I've yet to come across in my life. The formidable wall was around five feet, five inches tall, very special and absolutely beautiful. The brick wall did good stopping me in my tracks. But, as I came upon it, it reduced me to rubble, made me reevaluate my entire life and led me, in a helpless fit, searching for guidance on how to scale it. Again I was feeling like a little boy. I was lost in my own thoughts. Lost in all the questions I was asking myself. It felt like everything was reset. All of a sudden, I don't know what it was all over again. What am I supposed to do?
I admit I was scared. Not scared of what had happened. Not of what will happen but, rather, I was scared because I did not know what to do. Fear is actually not knowing what to do once something happens. It is the unknown that gets to you. Again, the wall was about five feet five inches tall, exceptionally unique and absolutely beautiful. As it progresses, I began to think (I'm not really a big fan of thinking), thinking of a lot of things. I began thinking what my life would be in five years time. I began thinking about the things I haven't done. I began thinking about what I have been doing all my life. I thought about how and where I am now are going lead me in the course 5 years. What was I really looking for? A long list of the things I should be doing flashed right in front of me.
It was a short period of time which proved to be overwhelming. Although sad, I'm glad it went down in a good way. I finally realized what this was all about. It was not mostly about fear of events repeating themselves. It was mostly about regrets. Not regrets for the things I did. It was regret of the things I never did. Turns out I have one big regret: being inarticulate. I spoke in fragments. I hate myself for being inarticulate right up to the big moment when I really to say things. I might have said the things I wished to say, or not, but I bet it wouldn't go out the way how I wanted to say them. Why couldn't I communicate when I depended on it the most?
I know I might have caused trouble. I did what I thought I had to do. If you had found something you have been looking for but you had never thought possible, would you let it slip away? I couldn't. I saw something I had never thought possible in a person. A paradox. A human paradox. You cannot afford to be scared. You have to muster every ounce of courage out of your pathetic self so would never have to wonder what could have been.
The wall taught me a lot of things (not directly, mostly, but just knowing the wall). Like, the things I could do a lot of things only if I am willing to learn. Seriously, I never thought of picking up a music instrument. I feel bolder. Bold to do things I wouldn't normally do. Its one of those rare moments when I thought about something and decided to go through all the way. Above all, I learned that the room only stays dark if you keep the light from coming in.
....everything I say seems redundant. I'm lost for words. I keep talking about myself. How selfish.
Sad? Yes. It saddens me greatly
Hurt? Yes. One way or another, it cannot be avoided. I knew the risks and what is coming to me. I took it. I knew the risks from the very beginning.
Upset? No. For it was a great episode that made life seem interesting.
Are we friends?. I don't think I could because I am already in too deep. Honestly, I never approached you as one. And I don't think I could. Maybe for now.
I apologize for the mess I made and for other wrongs I did.
I still have a lot to say. Even the things I don't have to.
"If you were me, I am like you". I understood. I pray that it will work out for you, even it is ironic and very contradictory.
I'm being redundant again.
...honestly, I never counted them. I just picked them out.
Hurt? Yes. One way or another, it cannot be avoided. I knew the risks and what is coming to me. I took it. I knew the risks from the very beginning.
Upset? No. For it was a great episode that made life seem interesting.
Are we friends?. I don't think I could because I am already in too deep. Honestly, I never approached you as one. And I don't think I could. Maybe for now.
I apologize for the mess I made and for other wrongs I did.
I still have a lot to say. Even the things I don't have to.
"If you were me, I am like you". I understood. I pray that it will work out for you, even it is ironic and very contradictory.
I'm being redundant again.
...honestly, I never counted them. I just picked them out.Tuesday, April 21, 2009
an update
.........
Ah. The exam.
*cue rock guitar solo ala Zero Punctuation*
Yes, I will whine about how ridiculous the exam was this afternoon. It was ridiculous because there were terms that we were not aware of and it costs us both 10 and 5 marks each. I understand that this is a uni paper, and we are supposed to learn on our own but that was totally unprecedented (and I'm not really sure what unprecedented means. I dont have a dictionary).
What I want to say is: for the first time in years, I felt very nervous about and exam. The last time was during the first day of PMR and the first day of SPM - the later papers, I didn't really cared much. Back to SLA. Is it because the paper is very difficult? Is it because I didn't know what to expect from it? I think its hugely because I had terrible assessment scores throughout the semester. Not to mention making a terrible impression on the lecturer: Being late, sleeping in class, submitting assignments, half-assed presentations and all.
To me, failing is not a big issue. Its still an issue but its doesnt really bother me much, its not like I rarely failed in my studies. My concern is to maintain a minimum 3.00 average. I need that minimum average for my future plans. Also, its not like parents didn't really care. They just don't yap about how badly I did for my grades. However, what bothers me is that look on their face. That disappointed look. And that tone. I had it coming to me when I got my first grade pointer:
"Just 2.8?" *berkata dengan selamba sambil mengambil selekoh ke kiri*
"Yeah. 2.8. But I passed all subjects" *desperately trying to justify my complacency*
"ok"
And I get it. I'll try to do better next, which I did. You can't imagine how much power your parents have over you. How do I justify myself this time? I have 3 potential fails in my pockets. How do I deal with that?
Pray that I will not fail those 3. If you're reading this, pray for me too. I'd be very grateful.
("ooh, suddenly Huzen cares about his grades. How surprising for something who is very apathetic and pessimistic about everything. Sarcastic applause".
F- you buddy!)
Ah. The exam.
*cue rock guitar solo ala Zero Punctuation*
Yes, I will whine about how ridiculous the exam was this afternoon. It was ridiculous because there were terms that we were not aware of and it costs us both 10 and 5 marks each. I understand that this is a uni paper, and we are supposed to learn on our own but that was totally unprecedented (and I'm not really sure what unprecedented means. I dont have a dictionary).
What I want to say is: for the first time in years, I felt very nervous about and exam. The last time was during the first day of PMR and the first day of SPM - the later papers, I didn't really cared much. Back to SLA. Is it because the paper is very difficult? Is it because I didn't know what to expect from it? I think its hugely because I had terrible assessment scores throughout the semester. Not to mention making a terrible impression on the lecturer: Being late, sleeping in class, submitting assignments, half-assed presentations and all.
To me, failing is not a big issue. Its still an issue but its doesnt really bother me much, its not like I rarely failed in my studies. My concern is to maintain a minimum 3.00 average. I need that minimum average for my future plans. Also, its not like parents didn't really care. They just don't yap about how badly I did for my grades. However, what bothers me is that look on their face. That disappointed look. And that tone. I had it coming to me when I got my first grade pointer:
"Just 2.8?" *berkata dengan selamba sambil mengambil selekoh ke kiri*
"Yeah. 2.8. But I passed all subjects" *desperately trying to justify my complacency*
"ok"
And I get it. I'll try to do better next, which I did. You can't imagine how much power your parents have over you. How do I justify myself this time? I have 3 potential fails in my pockets. How do I deal with that?
Pray that I will not fail those 3. If you're reading this, pray for me too. I'd be very grateful.
("ooh, suddenly Huzen cares about his grades. How surprising for something who is very apathetic and pessimistic about everything. Sarcastic applause".
F- you buddy!)
Monday, April 20, 2009
What we do
Out of nowhere, I remembered an argument I had with a friend not long ago. I was about to make a decision (which I am not at liberty to disclose, but its kinda important and decisive). This is as close as I can remember, the way our argument goes:
"Why? Can't you see? Listen to me: You're going to regret this if you don't"
"Then let me regret."
"Do you realize what're you doing?"
"Yes."
"Then why? Its a big mistake."
"I'm young. Mistakes. That's what I do."
"That's not an excuse"
"Its NOT an excuse. I make mistakes. Its what I want to do."
"What?! (Agitated)"
"C'mon. I'm young. I'm not getting younger. If what I do is going to end being miserable and sad, so be it. Let it. I don't have to listen to - no offense - you and your advice. Yours is different. Yours maybe worked wonders but this is my experience. I can't let you, or anyone, define them for me. If its going to get fucked up, then let it. I'll learn. I'm gonna keep making these mistakes."
"...until you get it right?"
"Yes. And no. I'm doing it as long as I feel like making them."
"huh? WHY? (again)"
"I'm hoping to find meaning. I fail to see any in yours. If anything wants to happen, let it. I'll recover. "
"ya la. Whatever la. (annoyed and puzzled)"
So, its one of those (very) rare occasions where I feel like a total badass. I guess this is one of the things my friends hate about me: If I'd say I want to do something, there's no amount of warning and advice can change my mind. Unless, I see the reason to not do so myself.
Nothing beats being young. Being young, you take risks. You make mistakes. Thats what is great about it. Don't let other tell you what your experiences should be like. Forget self-help books, forget motivationals, forget role models. Its your story. There's a lot still left untold for you to write. I really hate being told what to do and being told to be like other people (hate this the most). Don't you?
The biggest regret I have is that I spent my younger years sitting in the background as I watched others flinging gaily up in the air with no safety on.
Regrets? I'll take care of that later.
"Why? Can't you see? Listen to me: You're going to regret this if you don't"
"Then let me regret."
"Do you realize what're you doing?"
"Yes."
"Then why? Its a big mistake."
"I'm young. Mistakes. That's what I do."
"That's not an excuse"
"Its NOT an excuse. I make mistakes. Its what I want to do."
"What?! (Agitated)"
"C'mon. I'm young. I'm not getting younger. If what I do is going to end being miserable and sad, so be it. Let it. I don't have to listen to - no offense - you and your advice. Yours is different. Yours maybe worked wonders but this is my experience. I can't let you, or anyone, define them for me. If its going to get fucked up, then let it. I'll learn. I'm gonna keep making these mistakes."
"...until you get it right?"
"Yes. And no. I'm doing it as long as I feel like making them."
"huh? WHY? (again)"
"I'm hoping to find meaning. I fail to see any in yours. If anything wants to happen, let it. I'll recover. "
"ya la. Whatever la. (annoyed and puzzled)"
So, its one of those (very) rare occasions where I feel like a total badass. I guess this is one of the things my friends hate about me: If I'd say I want to do something, there's no amount of warning and advice can change my mind. Unless, I see the reason to not do so myself.
Nothing beats being young. Being young, you take risks. You make mistakes. Thats what is great about it. Don't let other tell you what your experiences should be like. Forget self-help books, forget motivationals, forget role models. Its your story. There's a lot still left untold for you to write. I really hate being told what to do and being told to be like other people (hate this the most). Don't you?
The biggest regret I have is that I spent my younger years sitting in the background as I watched others flinging gaily up in the air with no safety on.
Regrets? I'll take care of that later.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
not a real post
I have never felt so distracted, so confused, so restless, heart-rend yet calm in my entire life. Its the kind of feeling that makes you wanna lay down and stare at the ceiling. I was so spaced out when my mom called last nite, I didn't pick it up (called her the next morning). I saw her name on the caller ID but I just can't respond. Fortunately, the knuckleheads at home help me break the space-out with their nerves. Im gonna beat them up.
I'm so distracted that everything I do is half-assed. Like my last minute assignments. Like this post. Like how I'm gonna write less in a post with a video.
"For you. The clue is: there are seven voices. One is not as good as the other six. Or all seven won't sound as good."
oh, yeah. Here's a vid:
THE STATE SEES ALL. ENJOY.
I'm so distracted that everything I do is half-assed. Like my last minute assignments. Like this post. Like how I'm gonna write less in a post with a video.
"For you. The clue is: there are seven voices. One is not as good as the other six. Or all seven won't sound as good."
oh, yeah. Here's a vid:
THE STATE SEES ALL. ENJOY.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
no guarantees
I think I should set a day to celebrate stupidity. Can't think of when and how. I'll figure it out, soon. Or later. Or maybe never. (picture is from Zero Punctuation. Bill Yahtzee, you're my hero.)
Its all about the "balls first" approach. Yes, Aishah. I love that word.
Success is when you don't get killed in the process.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
red riding
red riding hood: is it a fairy tale or just a bedtime story?
When you think about it, there's a little Red in all of us. Hood or no hood. We are the little Red in the hood. And all of us we're told by Mother to send a basket to Grandmother. Before leaving, mother told us to not stray away from the path. Just follow the path. You'll be at Grandma's in no time.
Unfortunately, the woods can be very tempting for little Red. The flowers. The animals. The waters. The unknown. Its just too tempting. Inevitably, little Red will go astray. And hey, little Red don't play by the rules. Are you going to take the path all the way to Grandma's or would you take the time to get dirty in the woods? Is Grandma really sick? Why the hell is Grandma living all alone in the middle in the woods? Is there something wrong between Mother and Grandma? What's it going to be, little Red?
And then, there is the Wolf. There is a wolf in the woods. There are wolves in the woods. If little Red follows the path, she could probably beat the wolf to Grandma's. Saves the trouble and the woodchuck could go on chucking woods peacefully. Or little Red could wander into the woods and run into the Wolf. Instant drama, if you'd ask me. These wolves, they don't always have sharp, teeth, sharp claws, long ears and always hairy. We all have our own wolves. Our very own personal wolves. We will encounter these wolves someday. We will deal with these wolves. Do we depend on the woodchuck to be there in time for a heroic rescue? Do fight these wolves ourselves? Do we make friends with them? Do these wolves bargain with us? What do we have to bargain?
The path Mother told us to go through sounds ideal. Sounds safe. Sounds boring. We are bound to go into the woods. We are bound to meet these wolves. We must face these wolves. We, little Red, need to learn lessons only can be learned from a journey in the woods. I recognize the fact that many might not be able to return to the path. Many might not survive the encounter with the wolf. Many might question how Grandma come to be the way she is now. Many will question the path.
The next time you're going to Grandma's, take a detour into the woods. Why not? What do you have to lose? Are we not curious of what adventure lies ahead? Go. Our wolves are waiting for us.
Tread lightly, Red dearest.
When you think about it, there's a little Red in all of us. Hood or no hood. We are the little Red in the hood. And all of us we're told by Mother to send a basket to Grandmother. Before leaving, mother told us to not stray away from the path. Just follow the path. You'll be at Grandma's in no time.
Unfortunately, the woods can be very tempting for little Red. The flowers. The animals. The waters. The unknown. Its just too tempting. Inevitably, little Red will go astray. And hey, little Red don't play by the rules. Are you going to take the path all the way to Grandma's or would you take the time to get dirty in the woods? Is Grandma really sick? Why the hell is Grandma living all alone in the middle in the woods? Is there something wrong between Mother and Grandma? What's it going to be, little Red?
And then, there is the Wolf. There is a wolf in the woods. There are wolves in the woods. If little Red follows the path, she could probably beat the wolf to Grandma's. Saves the trouble and the woodchuck could go on chucking woods peacefully. Or little Red could wander into the woods and run into the Wolf. Instant drama, if you'd ask me. These wolves, they don't always have sharp, teeth, sharp claws, long ears and always hairy. We all have our own wolves. Our very own personal wolves. We will encounter these wolves someday. We will deal with these wolves. Do we depend on the woodchuck to be there in time for a heroic rescue? Do fight these wolves ourselves? Do we make friends with them? Do these wolves bargain with us? What do we have to bargain?
The path Mother told us to go through sounds ideal. Sounds safe. Sounds boring. We are bound to go into the woods. We are bound to meet these wolves. We must face these wolves. We, little Red, need to learn lessons only can be learned from a journey in the woods. I recognize the fact that many might not be able to return to the path. Many might not survive the encounter with the wolf. Many might question how Grandma come to be the way she is now. Many will question the path.
The next time you're going to Grandma's, take a detour into the woods. Why not? What do you have to lose? Are we not curious of what adventure lies ahead? Go. Our wolves are waiting for us.
Tread lightly, Red dearest.
Inspired by The Path from Tale of Tales
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Making Mistakes
An original by Haley Bop. Sounds like a cross between Regina Spektor and Ingrid Michaelson.
Each night i compromise what i want, what i dont, whose by my side, and i can never be alone
I dream of you while im next to him, in this stale love life im livin in and its not fair to anyone.
I need to get away if only for today, im playin games.
I call you up, to meet me out, in the park after dark everybodys out, just us and thoughts of this is so bad.
Feels good at first but its quickly worse, now all i think is loves a curse and why am i always so selfish
i need to get away if only for today, im playing games...making mistakes, taking this love for granted i have with you today, but theres tomorrow, and its left untold but you swear ill always have you to hold.
I need to get away if only for today, im playing games
I see your face and im filled with guilt from tearin down this love weve built, but im holding on to strings that were left there.
Ill try and sew them back together but im afraid that we will never seem the same way as before I was playin these games.
Each night i compromise what i want, what i dont, whose by my side, and i can never be alone
I dream of you while im next to him, in this stale love life im livin in and its not fair to anyone.
I need to get away if only for today, im playin games.
I call you up, to meet me out, in the park after dark everybodys out, just us and thoughts of this is so bad.
Feels good at first but its quickly worse, now all i think is loves a curse and why am i always so selfish
i need to get away if only for today, im playing games...making mistakes, taking this love for granted i have with you today, but theres tomorrow, and its left untold but you swear ill always have you to hold.
I need to get away if only for today, im playing games
I see your face and im filled with guilt from tearin down this love weve built, but im holding on to strings that were left there.
Ill try and sew them back together but im afraid that we will never seem the same way as before I was playin these games.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Nightmares: Soft Pillows and Annoying Narratives
Ever woke up to a nightmare? Or, have you ever woke up into a nightmare?
I think I just did. I woke up this morning just to find that I have only done 3 pages for my SLA mini-research. And its due during her class, which ends at 10.30 this morning. I woke up at 8.00. Do the math.
I screamed.
No. Let's rephrase that:
I was screaming.
Talk about last minute. Its all thanks to that "I think I'll have that 30 min powernap". 30 mins? Cheh. Konon. ...but I did managed to submit it directly to her 3 minutes after 10.30. Earned the label "famous people" in her class. I'm a problem student now? Its been years since that incident with my social studies lecturer. AWESOME.
When will we learn our lesson? *sigh*
On a side note, one of the guys in the house started watching Gossip Girl....
...GOD SAVE US ALL.
I think I just did. I woke up this morning just to find that I have only done 3 pages for my SLA mini-research. And its due during her class, which ends at 10.30 this morning. I woke up at 8.00. Do the math.
I screamed.
No. Let's rephrase that:
I was screaming.
Talk about last minute. Its all thanks to that "I think I'll have that 30 min powernap". 30 mins? Cheh. Konon. ...but I did managed to submit it directly to her 3 minutes after 10.30. Earned the label "famous people" in her class. I'm a problem student now? Its been years since that incident with my social studies lecturer. AWESOME.
When will we learn our lesson? *sigh*
On a side note, one of the guys in the house started watching Gossip Girl....
...GOD SAVE US ALL.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Come check our calendars
All three microteachings suffered badly from my complacency and lack of concern for developing teaching aids. Failing subjects is not a distinct possibility. The only thing I did right this semester was the movie review for Asian Literature. Its "Water" by Deepa Mehta. Its an awesome Indian movie. Its really deep. I recommend you to watch it. And then I was also desperate to prove to my Class Management instructor that I am doing my work. Thanks to Tatie and Pie for giving me something to talk about, even though it was just verbatim and a little bit of paraphrasing on my part. I am, like everyone else, concerned about my grades too.
And, since everyone is bitching about being super busy, I have dedicated some time to develop some visual aids to help explain the situation that my fellow coursemates and I are going through:
To illustrate the situation, I've selected two essential activities for the discerning undergrad student. They're very important, for sure. You can't deny and I can't stress more on how important these two are. THEY ARE EFFING IMPORTANT! Plus, I've placed them inside coloured rectangles for presentation purposes.
This how the schedule would look like for the normal busy student. This is how it usually looks. Notice how they are tightly packed. Sticking. No hairlines. Totally compact.
Now, this is how our timetable looks like. Notice how the pressure of time and lack of initiative have compacted both activities that they start to forcefully overlap to accomodate the time constraint enforced upon us. Its like the skin of a chronic couch potato has naturally melded into the couch itself. The TR stand for toilet reading which means we have to study for tests even during "business" hours. However, I don't see how Toilet Reading is going to make any difference to me. I do it all the time!
In fact, the time allocated for posting this post overlaps with the time allocated to eat the chips I've bought a week ago, the time for me complete my 6-8 page Second Language research (due tomorrow) and the time for me pick my nose clean.
This requires shit serious time management skills, essential to any student who has great concern over efficiency, and unfortunately, I'm not one of those students. I have a fairly impressive "bitching" skill, if that helps.
Even now, I can still hear them bitch about it.
That's rite! keep singing it, people!!! Oh, yea. Uh-huh, uh-huh!
And, since everyone is bitching about being super busy, I have dedicated some time to develop some visual aids to help explain the situation that my fellow coursemates and I are going through:
To illustrate the situation, I've selected two essential activities for the discerning undergrad student. They're very important, for sure. You can't deny and I can't stress more on how important these two are. THEY ARE EFFING IMPORTANT! Plus, I've placed them inside coloured rectangles for presentation purposes.
This how the schedule would look like for the normal busy student. This is how it usually looks. Notice how they are tightly packed. Sticking. No hairlines. Totally compact.
Now, this is how our timetable looks like. Notice how the pressure of time and lack of initiative have compacted both activities that they start to forcefully overlap to accomodate the time constraint enforced upon us. Its like the skin of a chronic couch potato has naturally melded into the couch itself. The TR stand for toilet reading which means we have to study for tests even during "business" hours. However, I don't see how Toilet Reading is going to make any difference to me. I do it all the time!In fact, the time allocated for posting this post overlaps with the time allocated to eat the chips I've bought a week ago, the time for me complete my 6-8 page Second Language research (due tomorrow) and the time for me pick my nose clean.
This requires shit serious time management skills, essential to any student who has great concern over efficiency, and unfortunately, I'm not one of those students. I have a fairly impressive "bitching" skill, if that helps.
Even now, I can still hear them bitch about it.
That's rite! keep singing it, people!!! Oh, yea. Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Acting on impulse and spontaneity
Have you ever imagined if it was possible being stupid beyond stupid itself? Have you ever wondered why did you let your guts and impulses let you take over? How you ever wondered whatever happened to that mantra you're always held with you, "Slow and Smooth, Smooth is Fast"?
Have you felt so stupid because you forgot that YOU HAVE A PHONE? And you can just give a call or a text, and save you from looking like an idiot in front of people that matter?
Slow and smooth, smooth is fast.
Quote of the week
Have you felt so stupid because you forgot that YOU HAVE A PHONE? And you can just give a call or a text, and save you from looking like an idiot in front of people that matter?
Slow and smooth, smooth is fast.
Quote of the week
"If its wise to see the good in the bad,
Then it must be fair to see the bad in the good".
-huzen, 2007
Then it must be fair to see the bad in the good".
-huzen, 2007
Jason at the Nobel Peace Prize Concert 2008
Beautiful Mess, with accompaniment. Live at the Nobel Peace Prize Concert 2008.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Breach and Clear (Clean?)
Bored soldiers applying urban combat "breach and clear" tactics to clean the laundry room.
Its quite funny but cool at the same time. Guess this is what they mean when they say "War come and go, but the soldier stays forever".
Its quite funny but cool at the same time. Guess this is what they mean when they say "War come and go, but the soldier stays forever".
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
To whom it may concern
I feel like writing beautiful words tonight. Need to get some things of my chest and I hope this small act of positivity may relieve the tension I had from this week's work and, hopefully, help put a smile on your face as well as mine.
Here goes,
To Whom It May Concern
Lovely,
That breathless charm.
The tenderness that shows
from the laugh that wrinkles your nose,
it tickles this foolish heart.
Lovely,
Never ever change.
Keep that breathless charm,
It makes one breathless and weak
for a brief moment.
willing able and ready
the next.
Lovely,
What lies would I tell,
when all I tell is the truth.
The need to be brave,
when beauty can be even seen by the blind.
Lovely,
They say
Its beautiful only after the acquaintance.
I say (as I stood on my ground)
Its beautiful on that very moment I saw.
If these words be lies,
Then let all the other words I say
be lies.
Something didn't sound right. I might have figured it out but I don't know how to make it better. Writing nice things is kinda hard when you're used to being a dick about everything.
Change should be gradual as well as consistent. What better time than now?
Here goes,
To Whom It May Concern
Lovely,
That breathless charm.
The tenderness that shows
from the laugh that wrinkles your nose,
it tickles this foolish heart.
Lovely,
Never ever change.
Keep that breathless charm,
It makes one breathless and weak
for a brief moment.
willing able and ready
the next.
Lovely,
What lies would I tell,
when all I tell is the truth.
The need to be brave,
when beauty can be even seen by the blind.
Lovely,
They say
Its beautiful only after the acquaintance.
I say (as I stood on my ground)
Its beautiful on that very moment I saw.
If these words be lies,
Then let all the other words I say
be lies.
Something didn't sound right. I might have figured it out but I don't know how to make it better. Writing nice things is kinda hard when you're used to being a dick about everything.
Change should be gradual as well as consistent. What better time than now?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Frantic Fortnight: The Ultimate Pile-up
The fever's catching up. I'm not gonna whine about how its really busy and how I missed having my free time. Yeah, so why procrastinate in the first place?
p/s: Cock punching should be used in self-defense. Using it as a form of banter is highly unethical. Please take note.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Prettiest Friend
this is what i look like today
and i'm trying not to pull out my hair
i'm trying not to show it cause i'm far too shy to grow it back there
that's probably why i like wearing hats
there's no denying i'm deferring the facts
avoiding confrontation
lacks tact in a situation
behind every line is a lesson yet to learn
but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overwhelming
and oh it goes to show
i've so much to know
i wrote this for my prettiest friend
who while trying not to prove that i care
trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
well she can't see she's making me crazy now
i don't believe she knows she's amazing how
she has me holding my breath
so i'd never guess that i'm a none such unsuitable, suitable for her
but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is complimentary
and oh it goes to show
the moral of the story is boy loves girl
and so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told
i know that i should be brave
even pretty can be seen by the blind
i know that i cannot wait
until the day we finally learn how to find each other
redefining open minds
and if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overjoyed
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone
and so on cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told
and i'm trying not to pull out my hair
i'm trying not to show it cause i'm far too shy to grow it back there
that's probably why i like wearing hats
there's no denying i'm deferring the facts
avoiding confrontation
lacks tact in a situation
behind every line is a lesson yet to learn
but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overwhelming
and oh it goes to show
i've so much to know
i wrote this for my prettiest friend
who while trying not to prove that i care
trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
well she can't see she's making me crazy now
i don't believe she knows she's amazing how
she has me holding my breath
so i'd never guess that i'm a none such unsuitable, suitable for her
but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is complimentary
and oh it goes to show
the moral of the story is boy loves girl
and so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told
i know that i should be brave
even pretty can be seen by the blind
i know that i cannot wait
until the day we finally learn how to find each other
redefining open minds
and if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overjoyed
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone
and so on cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
